Astros @ Brewers(08/18/2008) 
8:02
Hey guys. We'll be underway here shortly. Until then ESPN2 is subjecting us to 12 year-old kids crying while they strike out.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:02 
8:03
Looks like this baby went to extra innings and the away team put up 6 in the top of the 7th. I should start covering these things.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:03 
8:05
The Little League World Series has a lot more appeal if you squint your eyes and pretend it's a midget league.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:05 
8:05
[Comment From ZachZach: ] 
You'd probably have a better shot at Baseball Is Boring a perfect game that way. (Baseball is Boringing?)
Monday August 18, 2008 8:05 Zach
8:06
Less innings, more laughs. I'm seriously considering this.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:06 
8:07
Only thing is I'd probably refer to every player as "that ugly midget".
Monday August 18, 2008 8:07 
8:08
2 out base hit.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:08 
8:08
Over under on the total number of braces on the field right now? 300
Monday August 18, 2008 8:08 
8:10
Miller Park is so badass. Definitely one of the parks I need to get to.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:10 
8:10
Annnnd the game is already in progress. There's one out and Mark Loretta is up.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:10 
8:11
CC Sabathia has a perfect game going. (jinx count: 1)
Monday August 18, 2008 8:11 
8:11
Loretta is down 1-2. 28 strikes to go!
Monday August 18, 2008 8:11 
8:12
He strikes out and I'm told it's Sabathia's second strikeout of the game. Perfect game intact.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:12 
8:12
[Comment From WezWez: ] 
So does Randy Wolf!
Monday August 18, 2008 8:12 Wez
8:12
Yes! Jinx them all!
Monday August 18, 2008 8:12 
8:12
And Tejada singles to left! What a bum this Sabathia guy is!
Monday August 18, 2008 8:12 
8:13
Super slo-mo shows Sabathia eating half a bag of Lays in the middle of his delivery. He should switch to Pringles.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:13 
8:14
[Comment From ZachZach: ] 
Erstad swung at a ball in the dirt. He's a former punter, you know. /FJMed
Monday August 18, 2008 8:14 Zach
8:14
Was that NickBait?
Monday August 18, 2008 8:14 
8:15
Berkman reaches first on an error by the third baseman Bill Hall. He couldn't get the ball out of his glove. Probably had something to do with that Milwaukee moisture. I hear it actually gets you drunk.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:15 
8:15
Largely responsible for the .12 BAC limit there.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:15 
8:17
1-2 to Ty Wigginton results in a popout to JJ Hardy at short. 3 down along with my dream of   a perfect game. I wonder what else is on TV...
Monday August 18, 2008 8:17 
8:17
A Diablo con Los Guapos
Monday August 18, 2008 8:17 
8:17
Why not?
Monday August 18, 2008 8:17 
8:18
K-Mart commercial. They have K-Marts in France?!
Monday August 18, 2008 8:18 
8:18
Ok, back to ESPN2.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:18 
8:18
BOTTOM OF THE FIRST
Monday August 18, 2008 8:18 
8:19
Ray Durham leads things off for MIlwaukee tonight. Giddee up.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:19 
8:20
Who knew ESPN would be showing the Milwaukee natives in Favre jerseys. This is retarded.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:20 
8:20
Ray Durham, batting .278 at the ripe old age of 84, is a modern miracle and all we hear about is THEEEE GUNSLINGAAAA
Monday August 18, 2008 8:20 
8:21
WHO WANTS A PICK I GOT GALLONS I'M THE GUNSSSLINGAAAAA
Monday August 18, 2008 8:21 
8:21
durham flies out 1 gone
Monday August 18, 2008 8:21 
8:21
JJ Hardy is batting second at .276.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:21 
8:22
He strikes out. 2 gone.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:22 
8:22
[Comment From WezWez: ] 
purrfect game
Monday August 18, 2008 8:22 Wez
8:23
I maintain that a perfect game should be intact if you reel off a 100+ fastball into a batter.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:23 
8:23
Many a perfect game I lost...
Monday August 18, 2008 8:23 
8:24
It's good to hear Sutt in the booth again. I'm not a big fan of anybody on ESPN, really, but he's one of the more tolerable announcers.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:24 
8:24
Sounding like a nice guy who's not a complete wingnut goes a long way in the booth.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:24 
8:25
Prince Fielder is performing his on-deck ritual: being fat.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:25 
8:25
Braun walks on the 3-2 pitch. Man on first, 2 gone.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:25 
8:26
28 HR and a .373 OBP for the big boy this year.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:26 
8:27
And he's smacked in the belly boob by a fastball. That must hurt.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:27 
8:27
Like, getting smacked by a baseball sucks, but when it's dead on that layer of flub that hangs over your belt it must be horrible.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:27 
8:28
But enough on my blubber ramblings. Corey Hart crushes a double to center. Braun scores, Fielder's exhausted ass to third. 2 outs.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:28 
8:28
1-0 Brewers
Monday August 18, 2008 8:28 
8:28
[Comment From WezWez: ] 
Looks like it just hit his jersey. Somehow his jersey is baggy.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:28 Wez
8:29
I'm kind of relying on nobody being able to see this crap, man. is that as interesting as a solid blub smack?
Monday August 18, 2008 8:29 
8:30
Erstad settles under a fly ball in center to end the inning. No perfect game here, go back to watching football.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:30 
8:30
TOP OF THE SECOND
Monday August 18, 2008 8:30 
8:30
[Comment From maddingmadding: ] 
CC and Prince should have a MMA -style brawl/eating contest.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:30 madding
8:31
An interesting hybrid. I saw some BS report on Boxing/Chess a few years back, but this is much more interesting.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:31 
8:32
Ok, honestly? I flipped over to see what was going on in the game. Something about Tampa Bay leading the East makes football seem....less bad.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:32 
8:34
Holy hell, Carlos Lee broke his hand in 6 different places? How did I not see that?
Monday August 18, 2008 8:34 
8:34
Oh yeah I don't speak Spanish. El Caball o.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:34 
8:34
Geoff Blum flies out to left. 1 gone.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:34 
8:35
Hunter Pence is up, representing dumb-looking white dudes nationwide.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:35 
8:36
Sabathia is rocking the neck beard tonight. No doubt honoring Kyle Orton's ascension to starter.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:36 
8:37
Pence grounds out. Two gone.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:37 
8:37
Humberto Quintero (?!) hits a double to the centerfield wall.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:37 
8:38
Wolf's up. I'm going to go take my dog for a walk.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:38 
8:38
Nasty curveball from Sabathia. That was pretty gross.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:38 
8:39
Another one to the opposite side of the plate to get Wolf swinging. Side retired.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:39 
8:39
BOTTOM OF THE SECOND 1-0 BREWERS
Monday August 18, 2008 8:39 
8:40
This Babylon A.D. movie sucks for two reasons: 1.) it sucks b.) it's trying to use the Requiem for a Dream song as its own.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:40 
8:40
It's like another movie using Kill Bill's "BA NA NA" song. Just...lame.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:40 
8:41
[Comment From RobRob: ] 
Lord of the Rings did that too.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:41 Rob
8:41
Didn't notice. Was that during the first 13 hours or the last 10?
Monday August 18, 2008 8:41 
8:42
Sabathia leads things off. Except ESPN is wrong and it's Mike Cameron.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:42 
8:42
Black people be battin' y'all.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:42 
8:43
They'll attempt to make up for the error by tossing Bernie Brewer's name over JJ Hardy's stats his next at bat.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:43 
8:44
Cameron down on strikes, 1 out.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:44 
8:45
Kendall flies out.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:45 
8:45
Looks like Maddux got traded to the Dodgers today. Huh.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:45 
8:46
San Diego received a 103 year-old creeping ivy in return.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:46 
8:46
[Comment From RobRob: ] 
Just let me know when Stan Ross comes up to bat.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:46 Rob
8:46
Too soon? Nah.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:46 
8:47
Bernie Mac impressions somewhat welcome.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:47 
8:47
Sabathia takes strike three looking. Inning over.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:47 
8:47
TOP OF THE THIRD
Monday August 18, 2008 8:47 
8:48
So everone's watching football tonight, huh?
Monday August 18, 2008 8:48 
8:48
I'd liveblog a preseason football game, but I'm not a complete idiot who watches preseason football games in their entirety.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:48 
8:49
[Comment From RobRob: ] 
If it makes you feel any better, the Red Sox game is plenty boring tonight too.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:49 Rob
8:49
I'm watching that, too. Between innings.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:49 
8:49
Sucks that they're playing the Orioles. I can't get either game on MLB.tv
Monday August 18, 2008 8:49 
8:50
Erstad is leading things off in the third. His neckbeard is paltry and weak.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:50 
8:51
He stirkes out to Sabathia's God-like neckbeard. Kyle Orton gives a little fistpump.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:51 
8:53
Loretta singles to center. Man on, 1 out.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:53 
8:53
Tejada flies out on a Sabathia fastball to Sabathia in center. Two down.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:53 
8:54
[Comment From DDPDDP: ] 
It's just not the same watching Loretta come to bat without the incredlble stretch pun walk-up music he has, "Low Rider"
Monday August 18, 2008 8:54 DDP
8:54
True. That was pretty epic.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:54 
8:54
Berkman grounds out. Quick half.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:54 
8:54
BOTTOM OF THE THIRD
Monday August 18, 2008 8:54 
8:56
sorry i'm occupied trying to find neckbeard pics
Monday August 18, 2008 8:56 
8:56
[Comment From SaberToothedPieSaberToothedPie: ] 
Can I request a BiB during the Hurricane game tomorrow in Tampa?
Monday August 18, 2008 8:56 SaberToothedPie
8:56
Not a bad idea. I think I still get paid if they cancel the game. We call that "The Jackpot".
Monday August 18, 2008 8:56 
8:58
[Image]ortonyeah.jpg  View
Monday August 18, 2008 8:58 
8:58
hat tip to deadspin
Monday August 18, 2008 8:58 
8:58
Durham strikes out. Didn't really get a good look at his neckbeard, although I'm willing to guess it's less than impressive.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:58 
8:59
JJ Hardy flies out to Tejada at short. 2 gone.
Monday August 18, 2008 8:59 
9:00
[Comment From SaberToothedPieSaberToothedPie: ] 
How do you fly out to the SS?
Monday August 18, 2008 9:00 SaberToothedPie
9:00
Although I was wrong and it was a line out, this is still extremely possible and common.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:00 
9:01
It's the third inning and I'm already tempted to tank this thing in favor of 2.5 men.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:01 
9:01
Wow, that's actually on right now.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:01 
9:01
Braun strikes out, Wolf's 5th K. Side retired.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:01 
9:02
TOP OF THE FOURTH
Monday August 18, 2008 9:02 
9:02
Wow, this show has the dumbest introduction ever.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:02 
9:02
Who's the guy on this show that's not a drug addict?
Monday August 18, 2008 9:02 
9:03
[Comment From SaberToothedPieSaberToothedPie: ] 
Who could impregnate more women: Elijah Dukes or Charlie Sheen?
Monday August 18, 2008 9:03 SaberToothedPie
9:03
Good one.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:03 
9:03
Who could impregnate more women?
Elijah Dukes
 ( 55% )
Charlie Sheen
 ( 45% )

Monday August 18, 2008 9:03 
9:04
[Comment From Matthew K.Matthew K.: ] 
Olympics, NFL presean.. hell.. even WWE.. and you picked 2 and half men to watch?
Monday August 18, 2008 9:04 Matthew K.
9:07
Whoa. 2.5 Men just stomped a mudhole in my computer's mouth.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:07 
9:07
What we missed: 2 outs. I'll fill you in on the exciting details after the game.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:07 
9:08
Some other guy just grounded out to end the inning. I was frantically trying to shoo Charlie Sheen from my power source, sorry.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:08 
9:08
BOTTOM OF THE FOURTH
Monday August 18, 2008 9:08 
9:08
[Comment From Sam from ClevelandSam from Cleveland: ] 
CBS: Watch the edginess come out after our core audience goes to bed at 6:30.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:08 Sam from Cleveland
9:09
I don't know who 2.5 is targeted towards, but it's nobody I want to be friends with.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:09 
9:09
My God that is an ugly woman.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:09 
9:09
It's the huge chick from Mr. Deeds.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:09 
9:10
Sheen just winced upon sitting down and said "Little tender in the giblets", blew up an ass donut, and sat on it. "Much better", he explains.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:10 
9:10
Evidently he lost a testicle. I'm done.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:10 
9:11
Prince Fielder is up, appearing slightly larger than he did a few innings ago.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:11 
9:12
ESPN Is hyping up that Fielder, Parra BS. Athletes acting like meatheads? News to me.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:12 
9:13
After bringing Wolf to a full count he walks. AND WHEN I MEAN WALKS I MEAN WALKS GET IT HE'S HUUUUUGE
Monday August 18, 2008 9:13 
9:14
Corey Hart singles to single. Men on first and second with no outs.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:14 
9:14
Randy Wolf doesn't seem worried. Probably because this is a meaningless game and he's thinking about what movie he's going to get from the Red Box in the clubhouse after the game.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:14 
9:15
Hall sends it to deep center, advancing both runners. Hart showed some nads taking off on that fly, sliding in head first around the tag. Prince Fielder followed a trail of Reese's Pieces to third.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:15 
9:15
[Comment From SaberToothedPieSaberToothedPie: ] 
Maybe Manny Parra is a delicious salad in disguise?
Monday August 18, 2008 9:15 SaberToothedPie
9:16
I came across a copy of "Skinny Bitch" and skimmed through a couple of chapters. That's some scary shiz, guys.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:16 
9:16
Like, there's an entire chapter advocating one how to poop.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:16 
9:16
Titled "Pooping"
Monday August 18, 2008 9:16 
9:17
So, in closing, Prince Fielder is a professional tail grower.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:17 
9:17
Mike Cameron flies out to rightfield. 2 outs.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:17 
9:18
Fielder on third, Hart on second.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:18 
9:18
Wow, and the Astros opt to walk Kendall to face Sabathia. This brings Kendall's intentional walk total to existent.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:18 
9:18
If Sabathia bombs one Baseball will not be Boring.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:18 
9:19
He sends one to leftfield on the first pitch! Fielder in! Hart in! WHOA that was a really hot girl that ESPN just showed. My train of thought is totally thrown
Monday August 18, 2008 9:19 
9:20
oh yeah
Monday August 18, 2008 9:20 
9:20
3-0 BREWERS
Monday August 18, 2008 9:20 
9:20
Men on first and second, 2 outs.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:20 
9:21
Durham drives one down the third base line for a double. Kendall in to score and Sabathia's on third.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:21 
9:21
4-0 BREWERS
Monday August 18, 2008 9:21 
9:22
Charlie Sheen appears to have been beaten up. I'll assume it was a woman who wasn't so pleased with his advances!
Monday August 18, 2008 9:22 
9:22
[Comment From RobRob: ] 
Someone said something about hot women? You're not watching 2.5 men again are you?
Monday August 18, 2008 9:22 Rob
9:22
...
Monday August 18, 2008 9:22 
9:22
[Comment From BDBD: ] 
I was going to make a point about Steve Phillips Cy Young/MVP logic, then Sabathia had the best slide ever into third and I forgot my point
Monday August 18, 2008 9:22 BD
9:23
I held my breath. Totally saw a vintage Vlad/Ortiz slide coming, obviously ending in a torn rotator cuff.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:23 
9:24
[Comment From BDBD: ] 
I guess my default point is 'stop listening to Steve Phillips' anyway. Still applicable
Monday August 18, 2008 9:24 BD
9:25
Seeing drunk people in the stands during games makes me feel worthless, sitting alone and sober watching the same game.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:25 
9:25
Why can't I be a successful drinker like the other kids?
Monday August 18, 2008 9:25 
9:26
JJ Hardy singles to left. Sabathia scores and the inning continuesssss.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:26 
9:26
Durham scores too and I can't turn off bold for some reason.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:26 
9:26
6-0 Brewers
Monday August 18, 2008 9:26 
9:27
Ryan Braun grounds out on the first pitch to end the inning. Hoof!
Monday August 18, 2008 9:27 
9:27
TOP OF THE FIF
Monday August 18, 2008 9:27 
9:27
Let's see what else we got.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:27 
9:27
Wrestling.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:27 
9:28
Oh my. Three dimes are wrapping their legs around each other.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:28 
9:28
Four! Four dimes!
Monday August 18, 2008 9:28 
9:28
4 dimes. 4 thongs. 0 non-sexual entertainment.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:28 
9:28
Yet I watch.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:28 
9:29
FINE
Monday August 18, 2008 9:29 
9:29
Humberto's up again. He's immediately become my favorite Astros player because his name is Humberto.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:29 
9:30
It's also why I like Humberto Brenes. Outside of that he's an obnoxious old man.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:30 
9:30
He grounds out.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:30 
9:31
Reggie Abercrombie (?!) cranks a pinch-hit homerun to left.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:31 
9:31
6-1 Brewers
Monday August 18, 2008 9:31 
9:31
There's a dude named Abercrombie in the MLB that I haven't heard of? My day job is costing me so much...
Monday August 18, 2008 9:31 
9:31
[Comment From WezWez: ] 
This game is not perfect.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:31 Wez
9:31
Don't jynx it.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:31 
9:32
Erstad knocks a bloop single to shallow left, wrangled by the shortstop Hardy. Man on, one out.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:32 
9:33
Loretta singles to right. Men on first and second, still one out.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:33 
9:33
SOOOOOOO how about that Favre.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:33 
9:35
The more I watch ESPN the more evident it is for the dude  I work with who only talks about the one big headline every week.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:35 
9:35
"So! How 'bout that Mike Phelps, huh?"
Monday August 18, 2008 9:35 
9:35
"Heard Manny's on the trading block. Yankees want 'em"
Monday August 18, 2008 9:35 
9:36
Better than the dude who works on the other side of me. No lie, dude eats a raw tomato for breakfast. He sucks on that thing so loudly and obnoxiously that I'm tempted to sue him for sexual harassment.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:36 
9:37
Tejada battles in a lengthy at bat, but falls victim by way of groundout. 2 gone with men on first and second.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:37 
9:38
Berkman's down 1-2. No chance for a beanball here. What? Just saying.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:38 
9:40
Berkman gone on a high fastball. Sabathia lets up a solo shot, but the Brewers are still up 6-1. THERE'S ONLY ONE AUGUST.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:40 
9:40
BOTTOM OF THE FIFTH
Monday August 18, 2008 9:40 
9:42
aaaaaalright
Monday August 18, 2008 9:42 
9:42
Quick out for Fielder on the first pitch. 1 gone.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:42 
9:42
Oh.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:42 
9:43
Chris Sampson (6-4, 4.44 ERA) in to pitch for the Astros.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:43 
9:43
Hart grounds out to third. 2 outs.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:43 
9:44
Bill Hall's up. Now that I've gotten a better look, he definitely has a stupid neckbeard. Defnitely needs some work/
Monday August 18, 2008 9:44 
9:45
He grounds to Tejada at short. Inning over. I should have TiVo'd 2.5 men.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:45 
9:45
[Comment From Sam from ClevelandSam from Cleveland: ] 
halftime at browns giants MNF. that means Berman. That means hammer through the tv.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:45 Sam from Cleveland
9:46
He's not that bad. They could let Emitt Smith do halftime.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:46 
9:46
Damn, I need glasses and HD. Ditka looked like Woody Paige from afar.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:46 
9:47
TOP OF THE SIXTH
Monday August 18, 2008 9:47 
9:49
Ty Wigginton cranks one straightaway center for a solo homerun. Absolutely crushed. CC Sabathia saw it hit the wall and made a "fwap fwap" motion with his left hand.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:49 
9:50
Geoff Blum walks. Man on, still no outs.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:50 
9:51
He's still throwing hard, last fastball at 95. Must be his blood sugar.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:51 
9:52
Hunter Pence grounds into a fielder's choice. Oddly enough, that's the title of Prince Fielder's book about swearing off raw hamburger meat.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:52 
9:52
Humbertoooo Quintero strikes out. 2 gone. With a man on first.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:52 
9:53
JR House pinch-hitting.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:53 
9:53
[Comment From CCFanCCFan: ] 
CC Sabathia rox!
Monday August 18, 2008 9:53 CCFan
9:53
expound
Monday August 18, 2008 9:53 
9:54
[Comment From CCFanCCFan: ] 
my sox
Monday August 18, 2008 9:54 CCFan
9:54
That presents no intrinsic value. Give me some saberalgebra
Monday August 18, 2008 9:54 
9:55
[Comment From Sam from ClevelandSam from Cleveland: ] 
the x's really exude the passion
Monday August 18, 2008 9:55 Sam from Cleveland
9:55
[Comment From WezWez: ] 
His first name is Carsten.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:55 Wez
9:55
I'm intrigued.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:55 
9:55
He strikes out House, his 7th of the day. Maybe you guys are on to something.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:55 
9:55
ESPN cuts out during the hot dog race. Blasphemy.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:55 
9:56
I went to the Nats game on Saturday, where they have the Presidents race.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:56 
9:56
Theodore Roosevelt has yet to win a single race, right? And he blows by everyone and wins, so I'm going crazy.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:56 
9:56
DQ'd for stepping on the grass (it's around the warning track)
Monday August 18, 2008 9:56 
9:57
I tried to start a riot, but the other 45 people the stands were too high on meth to even understand what was going on.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:57 
9:57
BOTTOM OF THE what the hell ESPN just plugged Staind
Monday August 18, 2008 9:57 
9:58
...SIXTH
Monday August 18, 2008 9:58 
9:58
Dough Brocail (5-5, 3.98 ERA) in to pitch for the Astros
Monday August 18, 2008 9:58 
9:59
Martin Lawrence flies out to center. 1 out.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:59 
9:59
Jason Kendall singles. Man on first, 1 gone.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:59 
9:59
[Comment From Rip V. WinkleRip V. Winkle: ] 
Baseball no longer is the Natioinal
Monday August 18, 2008 9:59 Rip V. Winkle
9:59
[Comment From Rip V. WinkleRip V. Winkle: ] 
Baseball is not the National Pastime. Football cearly is now.
Monday August 18, 2008 9:59 Rip V. Winkle
10:00
oviously
Monday August 18, 2008 10:00 
10:00
My stats for tonight definitely reflect that. I'm not sure I've ever done a Monday night before, though. A lot of people are probably preoccupied with paperwork or kicking their dogs.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:00 
10:01
Sabathia laces a single to rightfield. Kendall to second. One out.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:01 
10:01
Sabathia's second hit of the night. Precedent points to HGH.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:01 
10:02
Lance Berkman watches a lazy grounder scoot right past him for a single. Kendall scores, Sabathia moves to second. Men on first and second with one out.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:02 
10:03
7-2 Brewers
Monday August 18, 2008 10:03 
10:03
Any Cardinals fans reading this? I'm covering an undisclosed Redbirds game later this week.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:03 
10:05
JJ Hardy strikes out, but the ball gets by HUMMMBERTOOOOO. Two outs, men move to second and third.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:05 
10:05
[Comment From RobRob: ] 
I'm a Cardinals fan, but I'm pretty sure all the games are already scheduled.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:05 Rob
10:05
Ah, so you think. But did you consider:
Monday August 18, 2008 10:05 
10:05
[Comment From Rip V. WinkleRip V. Winkle: ] 
Lance Berkman packed it in weeks ago.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:05 Rip V. Winkle
10:05
[Comment From Rip V. WinkleRip V. Winkle: ] 
How to save
Monday August 18, 2008 10:05 Rip V. Winkle
10:05
[Comment From Rip V. WinkleRip V. Winkle: ] 
Monday August 18, 2008 10:05 Rip V. Winkle
10:05
[Comment From Rip V. WinkleRip V. Winkle: ] 
Adopt Queseuc
Monday August 18, 2008 10:05 Rip V. Winkle
10:05
[Comment From Rip V. WinkleRip V. Winkle: ] 
T
Monday August 18, 2008 10:05 Rip V. Winkle
10:05
[Comment From Rip V. WinkleRip V. Winkle: ] 
Adopt QuesTecc
Monday August 18, 2008 10:05 Rip V. Winkle
10:06
Yeah, opened my eyes too.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:06 
10:06
Dude, are you trying to play a MUD or something?
Monday August 18, 2008 10:06 
10:06
[Comment From BristolBristol: ] 
You know Nick, you'd have much better numbers if you liveblogged a Red Sox game. Hint hint.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:06 Bristol
10:07
Bristol as in...ESPN? Why don't you guys cover more Red S...I can't even say it
Monday August 18, 2008 10:07 
10:07
[Comment From Elf Mage Level 20Elf Mage Level 20: ] 
LIGHTNING BOLT
Monday August 18, 2008 10:07 Elf Mage Level 20
10:07
Critical Hit!
Monday August 18, 2008 10:07 
10:07
Braun strikes out. Inning over.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:07 
10:08
TOP OF THE SEVENTH
Monday August 18, 2008 10:08 
10:08
[Comment From RobRob: ] 
Sox game went final, Boston beats some AAA team, probably their own, 6-3.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:08 Rob
10:09
Guapo picks up his record 30th blown save of the season.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:09 
10:11
Sabathia's back out for the 7th. His neckbeard is in top form.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:11 
10:12
Ray Durham pulled some cute BS trying to flip a backhanded snag to Hardy. I didn't know he had a contract loaded with WebGem incentives. Erstand safe at first.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:12 
10:13
Sabathia up to 96 pitches, still throwing 95.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:13 
10:14
Captain Morgan is the ESPN Game Track sponsor? I never noticed. I should get hammered more often, I suppose.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:14 
10:14
Tejada's 1-3 tonight. He's quickly down 0-2.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:14 
10:15
He grounds one back to Sabathia, who snags it and quickly gets it to the shortstop Hardy, who turns two. Inning over.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:15 
10:16
BOTTOM OF THE SEVEN7H
Monday August 18, 2008 10:16 
10:17
SOOOOOOO
Monday August 18, 2008 10:17 
10:18
What is Prince Fielder's new favorite food?
Celery
 ( 17% )
Cucumbers
 ( 0% )
Baby Tomatoes
 ( 50% )
Bicycle Tires
 ( 33% )

Monday August 18, 2008 10:18 
10:19
Fielder's out. 1 gone.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:19 
10:19
[Comment From RobRob: ] 
I bet Fielder eats his tomatoes loudly too.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:19 Rob
10:20
Probably sounds like a dog lapping water from a bowl.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:20 
10:20
Crraaaanked. Corey Hart smacks a dinger to left center.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:20 
10:20
8-2 Brewers
Monday August 18, 2008 10:20 
10:21
Bernie Brewer loves his slide, but I'll be damned if I support any slide that doesn't dump into a huge mug of beer.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:21 
10:23
I really am giving some mind to covering a Little League World Series game. They cry so much!
Monday August 18, 2008 10:23 
10:24
Some guy who kinda looks like Mike Cameron is up. I think it's Fausto Carmona.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:24 
10:24
He strikes out on a breaking ball in the dirt. The Brewers strike again, making sure that this game doesn't go the full 9. 8 1/2 innings is like a 1/18th vacation for me!
Monday August 18, 2008 10:24 
10:25
TOP OF THE EIGHTH
Monday August 18, 2008 10:25 
10:26
No love for cucumbers, eh?
Monday August 18, 2008 10:26 
10:26
Slam them shiz in some ranch, pow.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:26 
10:27
Nice, hot dog race recap. Hot Dog won.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:27 
10:28
Sabathia pitching into the 8th. He buries Berkman with 97 MPH heat.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:28 
10:29
Wigginton goes after the first pitch and grounds out to Hall at third. Two gone.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:29 
10:30
Sabathia is throwing gas. He's at about 110 pitches.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:30 
10:30
Changeup outside puts away Blum. Inning over, Brewers coming up in the 8th.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:30 
10:30
BOTTOM OF THE EIGHTH
Monday August 18, 2008 10:30 
10:31
Gymnastics on NBC.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:31 
10:33
What's the stupidest Summer Olympic event?
Badminton
 ( 14% )
Gymnastics
 ( 14% )
Baseball
 ( 43% )
Michael Phelps' Underbite
 ( 29% )

Monday August 18, 2008 10:33 
10:33
Haha holy hell the Brewers have the angriest ginger I've ever seen in their bullpen. Researching.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:33 
10:34
Seth McClung!
Monday August 18, 2008 10:34 
10:34
[Image]mcclung.jpg  View
Monday August 18, 2008 10:34 
10:34
Damn
Monday August 18, 2008 10:34 
10:35
One badass ginger
Monday August 18, 2008 10:35 
10:35
[Comment From Adam JAdam J: ] 
Did you say "angriest" or "stonedriest"?
Monday August 18, 2008 10:35 Adam J
10:35
It's a fine line, friend.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:35 
10:36
Kendall singles and Sabathia sacs him over. Man on second, one out.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:36 
10:36
Man, how did I go this long watching Prince Fielder play and I didn't even call him "2.5 men"
Monday August 18, 2008 10:36 
10:36
Like, how unprofessional.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:36 
10:37
Durham lines one into rightfield for a double. Kendall scores again.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:37 
10:37
9-1 BREWERS
Monday August 18, 2008 10:37 
10:37
There's still only one out.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:37 
10:37
[Comment From Adam JAdam J: ] 
They're taking runs away from the Stros?
Monday August 18, 2008 10:37 Adam J
10:37
9-2 like it matters
Monday August 18, 2008 10:37 
10:38
9 NECKBEARDS - 2 NECKBEARDS BREWERS
Monday August 18, 2008 10:38 
10:39
Hardy grounds back to the pitcher, who I forgot to mention has been Geoff Geary (2-2, 2.48 ERA) for the entire inning.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:39 
10:39
[Comment From Jesse SiglerJesse Sigler: ] 
This would be a great night for Brian Shouse - Finally, at 39 years old, people have stopped associating him with his role as Chunk in the 1985 smash hit, The Goonies, and started focusing on his mediocre pitching and pale, ghastly skin.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:39 Jesse Sigler
10:39
Classic.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:39 
10:40
Kapler's up and he grounds out. Another run makes it 9-2 and Sabathia is still in.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:40 
10:40
And holy hell ESPN just played that same retarded Staind song again.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:40 
10:41
like, 3.5 seconds of it. "(drum fill) BELIEEEEEE" "MARYLAND DELEWARE BEACHES! YOU CAN DO IT ALL! ON DEMAND"
Monday August 18, 2008 10:41 
10:41
TOP OF THE NINTH
Monday August 18, 2008 10:41 
10:42
[Comment From Adam JAdam J: ] 
Staind makes Puddle of Mudd look like... well, still really terrible, but the point is they're better than Staind.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:42 Adam J
10:42
[Comment From kdkd: ] 
N ERVRYTHANG AH CAN'T REMEMBER
Monday August 18, 2008 10:42 kd
10:43
You can't feel my torture, blah blah blah my pain
Monday August 18, 2008 10:43 
10:43
Hunter Pence flies out. This game is almost over.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:43 
10:43
[Comment From Jesse SiglerJesse Sigler: ] 
Every time ESPN airs an interview ad featuring Michael Phelps comparing himself to Michael Jordan, a fairy loses its wings.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:43 Jesse Sigler
10:44
I saw on SportsCenter, and I **** you not, "The best Mikes in sports history"
Monday August 18, 2008 10:44 
10:44
I was going to stick around to see if Mike O'Malley was on there, but I had to grab dinner.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:44 
10:44
[Comment From Adam JAdam J: ] 
And it just so happens #1 and #2 have their own talk show ON THAT VERY NETWORK every morning!
Monday August 18, 2008 10:44 Adam J
10:45
Fatso and ****head.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:45 
10:45
and that's not either of the first two 4-letter obscenities you think it is
Monday August 18, 2008 10:45 
10:45
JJ Hardy makes an error. My dentist tells me not to grind my teeth....
Monday August 18, 2008 10:45 
10:46
JEEEESSSSUUUUUSSSS
Monday August 18, 2008 10:46 
10:47
infield hit for Erstad. bases loaded, one out.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:47 
10:47
[Comment From JesusJesus: ] 
What? I was sleeping.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:47 Jesus
10:47
Sabathia's at 120 pitches.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:47 
10:47
[Comment From RobRob: ] 
This chatbox is still faster than Gameday
Monday August 18, 2008 10:47 Rob
10:48
I could draw out Pitch FX in MSPaint, given the spare time.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:48 
10:48
Loretta sac flies to right, scoring HUMBEERRTOOOOO. 2 outs.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:48 
10:48
9-3 Brewers
Monday August 18, 2008 10:48 
10:49
Tejada is up. If he gets this out he obtains the lead in complete games for the National League, I'm told. Pretty messed.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:49 
10:50
Erstad takes second, defensive blah blah. Second and third, two out.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:50 
10:50
[Comment From RobRob: ] 
CC for CY? Or are genuine baseball topics disallowed?
Monday August 18, 2008 10:50 Rob
10:50
//roll
Monday August 18, 2008 10:50 
10:51
He walks Miguel Tejada. He's 125 pitches deep. Ned Yost is playing with a dried patch of bird poop.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:51 
10:51
[Comment From JesusJesus: ] 
What's more genuine baseball than Mike Phelps's weird jaw?
Monday August 18, 2008 10:51 Jesus
10:51
Lance Berkman quickly down 0-2.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:51 
10:52
Looked like a gift. To me.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:52 
10:52
His release point looks off. Everything is up.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:52 
10:52
[Comment From Mark PriorMark Prior: ] 
I don't see anything wrong with pitching a guy this hard in the middle of the season.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:52 Mark Prior
10:53
He grounds out to Hall at third! Ballgame over, Sabathia pitching another complete game.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:53 
10:53
[Comment From maddingmadding: ] 
As a Cardinals fan, this is great. I can't wait until CC hits the DL in a few days.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:53 madding
10:53
I would not be happy to see CC Sabathia whomp over another team.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:53 
10:53
[Comment From Jesse SiglerJesse Sigler: ] 
Lance Berkman's unintentionally hilarious facial hair is a national treasure. He's like the second coming of Ryan Klesko.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:53 Jesse Sigler
10:53
It's no neckbeard though.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:53 
10:53
[Comment From JonJon: ] 
fart
Monday August 18, 2008 10:53 Jon
10:54
That's what we do folks!
Monday August 18, 2008 10:54 
10:54
I'll see you guys for some Cards game later this week. Take care.
Monday August 18, 2008 10:54 
10:54



 
 
 
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