Baseball Is Boring: Braves-Cubs Live Blog(06/12/2008) 
2:18
Welcome, friends. Today's game is being broadcast on WGN.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:18 
2:19
As some sort of retro-celebration, they're broadcasting this game in black-and-white. The teams are wearing old-timey uniforms.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:19 
2:19
Announcers Len Kasper and Bob Brenly are wearing bowler hats. Kasper looks like Eliot Ness. Bob Brenly looks like Daniel Plainview.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:19 
2:19
This Will Be Bad.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:19 
2:19
By the way, I realize that I've established the expectation that I make stuff up during these live blogs, but everything I have typed so far is completely true. Turn on the game if you don't believe me.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:19 
2:19
[Comment From MattMatt: ] 
wow, seriously?
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:19 Matt
2:19
Couldn't make it up.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:19 
2:20
Oh God, you f***ing humps. THE RETRO UNIFORMS DO NOT WORK IF YOU ARE WEARING WRAPAROUND OAKLEYS.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:20 
2:21
What's the premise here?   Are they trying to wordlessly establish a storytelling construct supporting the idea that they are time travelers from the past?
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:21 
2:21
[Comment From MDTMDT: ] 
Oh, thank God. I thought I was gonna have to do honest work this afternoon.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:21 MDT
2:21
I'd probably rather split logs with an axe all day than go back and read a live blog I wrote.   I appreciate you humoring me, though.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:21 
2:22
[Comment From MattMatt: ] 
If that were true, the concept of mirrored glass would scare the hell out of them
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:22 Matt
2:22
I'm waiting for Ryan Theriot to strike out, see his reflection, announce that he's escaping to the Netherworld, and smack his face into it.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:22 
2:23
Brenly says Ryan Theriot is a throwback to the old days.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:23 
2:23
Because...he's...a white guy?   I don't know what he's talking about.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:23 
2:24
TOP OF THE FIRST
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:24 
2:24
Yunel Escobar vs. Carlos Zambrano.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:24 
2:24
Escobar's thrown out.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:24 
2:25
Brenly made a joke!   "Let's took at the replay-- oh, wait, there are no replays today!"
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:25 
2:25
They're keeping the camera angles circa-1948.   Which means a stationary camera on the first-base side, another on the third-base side, and maybe a third somewhere if we're lucky.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:25 
2:25
Kelly Johnson pops out, two away.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:25 
2:26
What the hell?   Back in the day, did they lack the technology to place a camera behind the plate?
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:26 
2:26
SCIENCE HAS NOT YET AFFORDED US A LONG ENOUGH CABLE
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:26 
2:26
[Comment From MattMatt: ] 
so have they given an idea of what year this is supposed to be?
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:26 Matt
2:27
Actually, they're saying 1948.   Guess they wanted to explain away integration.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:27 
2:27
Chipper Jones is starting!   Baseball's Willis Reed dinks it to the first base side of the infield and beats it out.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:27 
2:27
[Comment From MDTMDT: ] 
Unfortunately, they couldn't throw it back far enough to when film was not accompanied by sound
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:27 MDT
2:27
[Comment From MDTMDT: ] 
Next week will be mid-50s camera angles: one on first, one on third, and one surrepititously filming possible Communists at all times
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:27 MDT
2:28
Stand up for the Seventh Inning Snitch!
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:28 
2:28
(whoever does not stand takes a rowboat straight to the gulag)
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:28 
2:28
[Comment From MDTMDT: ] 
I smell trouble for the Cincinnati Reds.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:28 MDT
2:29
Zambrano secures the third out.   One hit, no score after 0.5.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:29 
2:30
I'm really sick of WGN slamming their history down my throat all season.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:30 
2:30
Time to counteract it.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:30 
2:30
WGN was started in 2003 by Google.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:30 
2:30
"WGN" does not stand for anything.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:30 
2:30
BOTTOM OF THE FIRST
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:30 
2:32
Corey Patterson pops out to shallow right.   Hudson has a no-no going through .1.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:32 
2:33
Man, these WGN fellows just aren't pulling this off properly.   It's monochrome, sure, but it's pretty sharp picture.   Looks like an anti-theft camera.   I'm waiting for them to switch to a camera mounted outside Bob Brenly's shed.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:33 
2:33
Sonsabitches keep stealing his Roto-Rooters.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:33 
2:33
Theriot grounds out, two away.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:33 
2:34
Derrek Lee steps to the plate v. Hudson, who has a no-no going through .2.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:34 
2:35
Yep.   Not gonna get tired of this monochrome picture in a minute.   No sir.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:35 
2:35
I feel like a paralyzed canine watching this crap.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:35 
2:36
[Comment From MattMatt: ] 
how many times has the phrase twenty-three skidoo been used so far?
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:36 Matt
2:36
Once.   A camera caught Michael Jordan riding around a leisure watercraft on the lake.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:36 
2:37
Hudson elicits a weak grounder and flips to first.   Inning over.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:37 
2:37
Hudson has a no-hitter through 1.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:37 
2:38
I really wish WGN would be consistent in its context and keep the commercials 1940s-era.   Sunblock?   Auto insurance?   What sorcery is this?
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:38 
2:38
I want advertisements enabling my cigarette habit, damn it!
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:38 
2:39
How many doctors, out of, say, 5, would agree?
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:39 
2:39
[Comment From Donut KingDonut King: ] 
"Well struck, sir!"
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:39 Donut King
2:39
TOP OF THE SECOND
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:39 
2:39
McCann starts off the inning with a single.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:39 
2:40
HOME RUN!
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:40 
2:40
Francoeur hits it out to the bleachers in left.   Two runs in.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:40 
2:41
Braves 2, Cubs 0.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:41 
2:41
My 5-1 Cubs prediction is in serious jeopardy.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:41 
2:41
Hopefully Greg Norton or somebody hits a home run and runs the bases backwards.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:41 
2:41
Nope.   Norton hits into an out, one away.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:41 
2:42
[Comment From AlessandroAlessandro: ] 
When's B gonna write that "Hey Dude" article?
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:42 Alessandro
2:42
I don't know, but I want to read it.   Anything Donkeylips-centric is okay by me.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:42 
2:43
These television folks are piping in typewriter noises.   Who the hell wants to hear typewriter noises?
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:43 
2:43
Well, except for you guys, who have to hear it every single time I type something.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:43 
2:43
Maybe I can customize this thing.   I want to make a custom sound whenever I type something.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:43 
2:43
Maybe Daniel Plainview from "There Will Be Blood" shouting DRAAAAAAAINAGE
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:43 
2:44
Blanco flies out, but Hudson is on with a single.   Two away.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:44 
2:44
And Escobar misses another two-run home run by about a furlong.   Inning over.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:44 
2:45
[Comment From Paul @ CoveritLivePaul @ CoveritLive: ] 
FYI, each viewer controls whether they hear that clicky noise or not. Option is at bottom right of Viewer Window (speaker icon). So they don't have to hear it at all!! :)
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:45 Paul @ CoveritLive
2:46
Man!   Come on, I was trying to find something about this application to complain about.   Seriously, it's just about flawless.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:46 
2:46
[Comment From MDTMDT: ] 
Any throwback commercials yet? Maybe Erin Esurance talking about how happy she is to bake pies for her husband and pop out babies?
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:46 MDT
2:47
Maybe the snobby bespectacled man saving her from falling stage rafters!
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:47 
2:47
BOTTOM OF THE SECOND
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:47 
2:48
Hudson attempts to preserve his no-hitter vs. Aramis Ramirez.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:48 
2:49
He flies out to deep center.   One away.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:49 
2:50
Fukudome is up.   I'm already getting comments from viewers concerned about the chronistic discrepancies here.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:50 
2:50
BASE HIT!   The no-no bid is broken up.   ESPN.com had better take down their "breaking news" graphic stat.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:50 
2:51
Geovany Soto singles.   Friends on first and second.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:51 
2:52
There was a commercial circulating on MLB.tv last year that advertised some sort of retro league.   It waxed nostalgic on the "good old days."   "The days before expensive jewelry."   The subtle racism just lept out of the monitor and bit me on the wrist.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:52 
2:53
[Comment From MDTMDT: ] 
As long as Brenly didn't refer to it as "a base hit that will live in infamy" we should be okay
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:53 MDT
2:53
We're clear.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:53 
2:53
I'm still waiting on Len Kasper to take a baseball bat to a barrel of moonshine.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:53 
2:54
Full count on Edmonds, who will ground into a double play in a minute.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:54 
2:54
There it is.   Inning over.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:54 
2:55
[Comment From MattMatt: ] 
Nice call there Kreskin
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:55 Matt
2:55
Thanks.   Who's Kreskin?   Is he a mainstream journalist?   Is he yelling on HBO or something?
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:55 
2:56
[Comment From MattMatt: ] 
So do you guys not use the can during these things? Or should we just assume any long pauses are you on the pot?
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:56 Matt
2:57
Nah, I usually don't take breaks.   Before the game I spend 10 minutes going over rosters, and 30 minutes on the john.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:57 
2:58
TOP OF THE THIRD
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:58 
2:58
Braves 2, Cubs 0.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:58 
2:58
Kelly Johnson grounds out.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:58 
2:59
Chipper Jones flies out to deep center.   He does that slow, resigned follow-through he always does when he knows he hit into an out.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:59 
2:59
By the way, we've switched back to full color.   Thanks, WGN!
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:59 
2:59
Teixeira flies out.   Inning over, and quickly.
Thursday June 12, 2008 2:59 
3:00
Whoa, nope.   They switched back to black-and-white.  
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:00 
3:00
[Comment From MDTMDT: ] 
This colorization brought to you by Laramie Cigarettes. Laramie: The Perfect Breakfast!
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:00 MDT
3:01
[Comment From bobbob: ] 
Look for big Z to drill a Brave today, payback for Soriano
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:01 bob
3:01
Let's try to keep the comments PG-rated, huh?
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:01 
3:02
BOTTOM OF THE THIRD
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:02 
3:02
Tim Hudson pitches to Jimmy Halfbeard.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:02 
3:02
Halfbeard singles right past Hudson.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:02 
3:02
His nickname is apparently Mark DeRosa.   I don't get the reference.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:02 
3:03
Zambrano singles to left.   Two on, nobody out.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:03 
3:04
So the Braves are wearing vintage Boston Braves uniforms today.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:04 
3:04
I am a Braves fan.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:04 
3:04
Am I now expected to overscrutinize and underappreciate their players?
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:04 
3:05
As an aside, screw each and every Boston Celtics fan who used to talk crap about Paul Pierce.   They're the worst fans.   You know, not enough has been written on the Internet about Boston sports fans.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:05 
3:06
Corey Patterson changes his name to Eric, steps to the plate, earns a 3-1 count.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:06 
3:06
Fouled away, full count.   Remember, fellows on first and second, nobody out.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:06 
3:07
Double play.   Patterson almost safes himself, misses by half a step.   Two away, man on third.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:07 
3:08
Replays show he beat out the throw.   I hope the announcers talk about how great it is to have replays these days, since they did not have them during the 1940s.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:08 
3:08
And they do.   What do I win?
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:08 
3:09
Four jugs of Cocaine-Cola!   Huzzah!   Chee!
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:09 
3:09
[Comment From matt_Tmatt_T: ] 
I look forward to seeing Eric on the Reds in a few years
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:09 matt_T
3:09

Erik the Red (950–c. 1003) (Old Norse: Eiríkr rauði; Icelandic: Eiríkur rauði; Norwegian: Eirik Raude; Danish: Erik den Røde;Swedish: Erik Röde; Faroese: Eirikur (hin) reyði) founded the first Nordic settlement in Greenland. Born in the Jæren district of Rogaland, Norway as the son of Þorvaldr Ásvaldsson (Thorvald Asvaldsson), he therefore also appears, patronymically, as Erik Thorvaldsson (or as Eiríkr Þorvaldsson). The appellation "the Red" most likely refers to his hair color.[1]

Thursday June 12, 2008 3:09 
3:09
Theriot grounds out.   Inning over.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:09 
3:11
Yep, the white guys are back to hanging out with black guys in the commercials.   The time machine has sputtered back to the present day and hopefully crash-landed.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:11 
3:11
And yes, for some reason time machines fly.   Because, you know, you have to be in the sky and everything.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:11 
3:12
TOP OF THE FOURTH
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:12 
3:12
Braves 2, Cubs 0.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:12 
3:12
McCann starts off the inning against Zambrano.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:12 
3:13
He avoids getting beaned in the face and strikes out.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:13 
3:14
Francoeur is 2-for-2.   He lines over Theriot, who jumps, but does not raise his glove.   What was his idea there?
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:14 
3:14
Does he know something we don't?   Can you head-butt the ball and get a 1-UP?
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:14 
3:14
This raises several other questions that are beyond the scope of this live blog.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:14 
3:15
Norton flies to shallow center, two away.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:15 
3:16
Blanco singles to center.   Zambrano's 10-hit bid is still alive.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:16 
3:16
So we have jerks on first and second, two away, Tim Hudson at bat.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:16 
3:17
Hudson gets two strikes and just goes to pick up his glove.   Inning over.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:17 
3:18
WGN just won't stop talking about itself and how great it is.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:18 
3:18
They've shown a black-and-white clip of a guy banging on a typewriter.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:18 
3:19
They've shown a black-and-white clip of a guy in a suit cutting a cake.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:19 
3:19
Did people drink glasses of water in the 1940s?   Show me, show me!
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:19 
3:19
[Comment From SpuzzSpuzz: ] 
It is the Superstation...
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:19 Spuzz
3:19
Yeah, you're right.   Stupid question.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:19 
3:20
Anachronism alert!   They're using the old-timey graphics to display an AT&T text message trivia game.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:20 
3:20
But my television didn't explode.   Whew.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:20 
3:20
BOTTOM OF THE FOURTH
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:20 
3:20
[Comment From MDTMDT: ] 
Middle of the Fourth! Time for nuclear apocalypse drills! Come on folks, under the bleachers!
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:20 MDT
3:21
The caked vomit you will find under the bleachers is packed to the gills with nutrients!   Your T-Zone will thank you!
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:21 
3:21
[Comment From chiefchief: ] 
If you had one day left to live, would you spend it at a baseball game since it would seem like it lasted longer?
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:21 chief
3:22
I had never considered this.   One day I will remember this and thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:22 
3:22
Hudson strikes out Derrek Lee, one away.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:22 
3:22
[Comment From MattMatt: ] 
Did they have the old timey crank phones in the ATT commercial?
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:22 Matt
3:23
I think the idea is that you ring a cowbell to a binary tune.   Your message is transmitted via waxed kite string.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:23 
3:23
Mark Teixeira makes a nice grab at first, two away.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:23 
3:24
The announcers are letting the 1940s colloquialisms fly.   Unfortunately they are confusing the 40s with the 30s, and are making unbearable Al Capone references.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:24 
3:24
I think they just watched "Angels with Filthy Souls" from Home Alone, and nothing else, for preparation before today's game.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:24 
3:25
Fukudome flies out.   Inning over.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:25 
3:25
[Comment From SpuzzSpuzz: ] 
I can't wait until 2068, when I can watch a retro game featuring 2008 throwbacks. Imagine the Neo-Tokyo Brewers wearing their old Milwaukee duds while playing against the Megalopolis Dodgers. I look forward to looking back on now.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:25 Spuzz
3:26
Oh man, let me get my Colbert book.   It's sitting on the john, just a sec
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:26 
3:26
Stephen Colbert's Super Bowl predictions
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:26 
3:26
2012. Dolphins 254, Cowboys 0
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:26 
3:27
2014.   Dolphins 3.340, Cowboys 0
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:27 
3:27
2015 (UN-mandated execution of Miami Dolphins)
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:27 
3:27
2024. Sector B5 Meta-Creatures 52, Human Playthings 7.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:27 
3:28
It's a fun read if you're sitting and s****ing.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:28 
3:28
TOP OF THE FIFTH
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:28 
3:28
Braves 2, Cubs 0.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:28 
3:29
Escobar draws a walk, Johnson manages to poke a grounder through the gap.   Two on, nobody out.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:29 
3:29
[Comment From date rapdate rap: ] 
stooping and pooping
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:29 date rap
3:29
Yeah!   Yeah!
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:29 
3:30
Jones hits into a double play.   His average dips below 1.100 for the first time since April 18.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:30 
3:30
So a hump on third, two away, Teixeira at bat.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:30 
3:31
He walks.   Runners on the corners, Freddy Five-Hole steps up.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:31 
3:31
[Comment From SpuzzSpuzz: ] 
C'mon, Chip! Make that 1994 Collector's Choice Gold Signature card worth somethin' someday!
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:31 Spuzz
3:32
I have one of those horribly gaudy 1995 Topps Finest Chipper Jones refractor cards.   It's really useful.   Sometimes you stare at a baseball card and just wish you were looking at a rainbow instead.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:32 
3:33
McCann grounds out.   Inning over.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:33 
3:33
[Comment From MDTMDT: ] 
I liked to put those in the spokes of my bike and blind passing pedestrians in addition to annoying the hell out of them with the noise
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:33 MDT
3:34
Loosely related: Google Maps just Street Viewed my beloved city of Louisville.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:34 
3:35
They managed to catch me running shirtless through an alley.   I was chasing a mouse.   Wooden plank with a solitary rusty nail driven through it in one hand, bottle of Gatorade Fierce in the other.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:35 
3:35
[Comment From SpuzzSpuzz: ] 
link plz
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:35 Spuzz
3:36
www.storiesofintrigue.com
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:36 
3:36
BOTTOM OF THE FIFTH
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:36 
3:36
Soto promptly strikes out.   0-1 count on Edmonds.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:36 
3:37
I'm calling a double play here.   Nobody on base.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:37 
3:37
Baseball would be immeasurably less boring if a fielder could fling the ball at Lou Piniella's face for an out.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:37 
3:37
[Comment From MattMatt: ] 
Please to tell us what flavor of fierce you were drinking
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:37 Matt
3:38
THE ONE WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE A GRIZZLY BEAR
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:38 
3:38
Full count on Jim Edmonds.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:38 
3:38
Edmonds strikes out.   Single play!
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:38 
3:39
Mark DeRosa has a 1-1 count with two away.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:39 
3:40
DeRosa has a stripe of dirt on his crotch; his uniform is otherwise clean.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:40 
3:40
Good thing they haven't shown many camera angles pointed toward second.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:40 
3:40
Maybe that's how second basemen reproduce.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:40 
3:41
He struck out looking.   Hudson has struck out the side.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:41 
3:41
[Comment From matt_Tmatt_T: ] 
That's how Brian Giles created Marcus
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:41 matt_T
3:42
I always figured Marcus was just Brian's removed appendix that was allowed to ferment in a petry dish.   Useless.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:42 
3:42
[Comment From MDTMDT: ] 
I have it on good authority that Chase Utley can reproduce by staring at the womb area with enough force
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:42 MDT
3:42
Source: bumping-utleys.edu
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:42 
3:43
TOP OF THE SIXTH
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:43 
3:43
Francoeur strikes out.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:43 
3:43
The WGN folks are hawking their Southwest Robo Cam.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:43 
3:44
The announcers have been fired and replaced with Gypsy, Tom Servo, and Crow.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:44 
3:45
Norton singles.   Blanco grounds it, Norton slides in an uncharted territory north of second.   One on, two out.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:45 
3:45
And Hudson keeps his offensive no-hit bid alive.   He chops it for the third out.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:45 
3:45
[Comment From EamonnEamonn: ] 
Chase Utley's used pine tar is one of the key ingredients in most prominent fertility drugs.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:45 Eamonn
3:46
[Comment From MDTMDT: ] 
Isn't it throwback night? Shouldn't that be a Mechanical Turk Cam?
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:46 MDT
3:48
[Comment From EJEJ: ] 
Hudson is 1-3 today
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:48 EJ
3:48
SHUT UP
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:48 
3:48
[Comment From HarboHarbo: ] 
I thought Hudson singled in the first
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:48 Harbo
3:48
SHUT UP
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:48 
3:48
BOTTOM OF THE SIXTH
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:48 
3:48
Hudson vs. Zambrano to kick things off with a doink.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:48 
3:49
[Comment From FSJRFSJR: ] 
whats the score?
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:49 FSJR
3:49
Braves 2, Cubs 0.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:49 
3:49
Funny camera angle:   Zambrano standing in front of the AutoTrader.com banner.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:49 
3:50
Left side cut off, Zambrano standing in front of the R.   "TRADE."
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:50 
3:50
He strikes out, is traded to the Yankees for baked beans and a can opener.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:50 
3:50
Patterson manages a base hit.   One on, one out.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:50 
3:51
[Comment From matt_Tmatt_T: ] 
and wins tag team belt with f4rsw0rth
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:51 matt_T
3:51
I'd pay $50 to see those two fight, though.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:51 
3:51
Ryan "The Theriot Riot" Theriot steps up.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:51 
3:52
[Comment From kckc: ] 
can the Yankees really afford to trade a fine young prospect like baked beans?
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:52 kc
3:52
True.   It can really throw some gas.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:52 
3:53
Chipper barehands the ball at third, casts out Theriot.   Two gone, man on second.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:53 
3:53
Derrek Lee at bat.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:53 
3:54
Hit to dead center.   Blanco, wearing a retro jersey AND WRAPAROUND OAKLEYS, snags it to end the inning.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:54 
3:54
Yep, we're definitely in present day.   There's a Bud Light Lime commercial.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:54 
3:54
What a miserable future we live in.   What rudderless grey.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:54 
3:55
A future in which we can go anywhere, and choose to go nowhere.   A future of warm beer and cold women.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:55 
3:56
The same commercial grows again.   I'm going to build a giant plank and walk into space.   There is nothing left here but shadows and dust.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:56 
3:56
TOP OF THE SEVENTH
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:56 
3:56
Braves 2, Cubs 0.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:56 
3:56
[Comment From SpuzzSpuzz: ] 
I can't wait until I can get a Bud Light with pomegranate and açai.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:56 Spuzz
3:56
No doubt, no doubt nodoubt nodoubtowbgnlk
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:56 
3:57
Escobar grounds out.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:57 
3:58
Johnson loses a single by a quarter-step behind a nice play by Theriot.   Two away.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:58 
3:58
Jones at bat, sporting a batting average that must be expressed in a hexadecimal format.
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:58 
3:59
He kind of walks, kind of runs to first, inning over.   He's hurt!   He strained his hustle muscle!   Call the crying ambulance!
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:59 
3:59
What is it?   The Wah-mbulance!
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:59 
3:59
SEVENTH INNING STRETCH
Thursday June 12, 2008 3:59 
4:00
Old Man Squiddy sings the National Anthem and has to read the lyrics off a sheet.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:00 
4:01
Does anyone know whether Tom Waits has ever conducted a seventh inning stretch at Wrigley?
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:01 
4:01
I want to see that so badly.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:01 
4:01
[Comment From idrvbigtruks2idrvbigtruks2: ] 
who do you want to sing? Brittney Spears? lol
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:01 idrvbigtruks2
4:02
Where is idrvbigtruks1 today?   Tending the rabbits?
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:02 
4:02
[Comment From MDTMDT: ] 
"And the rockets' red glaaaare, and go f*** yourself Chiicaaaago... hey!"
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:02 MDT
4:02
This is exactly what I would expect.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:02 
4:02
BOTTOM OF THE SEVENTH
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:02 
4:03
It's notable here that Hudson has pitched six shutout innings.   He remains on for the seventh.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:03 
4:03
Ramirez singles to left to start the inning.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:03 
4:04
Escobar saw a double play ball and only got one.   He bobbled the ball and just ran past second instead of on it.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:04 
4:04
Man on second, one away.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:04 
4:04
[Comment From MDTMDT: ] 
"idrvbigtruksalso" was taken, I just checked
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:04 MDT
4:04
Drat.   Damn you, CoverItLive register-free screen name squatters!
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:04 
4:05
Geovany Soto has a 2-0 count on Hudson.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:05 
4:05
Soto dinks it to center.   This is the first hit by either team today.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:05 
4:06
Men on the corners.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:06 
4:07
Edmonds is up.   Time for me to predict another double play and look smart when it happens.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:07 
4:07
0-1 on Edmonds.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:07 
4:08
He is disappointed with the call and drops the bat to the ground.   He keeps the butt of the bat on his crotch and uses it as a fulcrum.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:08 
4:09
[Comment From EJEJ: ] 
is that how washed up center fielders reproduce?
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:09 EJ
4:09
Yeah, I think so.   At the top of the inning, some disfigured child with bats for arms was wandering about shallow center and calling Edmonds "father."   I didn't think much of it at at the time.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:09 
4:10
Woop, I'm an idiot.   Edmonds manages to sacrifice a friend home.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:10 
4:10
Braves 2, Cubs 1.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:10 
4:11
There's a man on first with two away.   Albert Anonymous steps to the plate.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:11 
4:11
Whoa, his nickname is Mark DeRosa too!   This is some sort of outside-the-box sophisticated in-joke I'm not aware of.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:11 
4:11
[Comment From matt_Tmatt_T: ] 
Andruw Jones reproduces by eating Dodger Dogs
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:11 matt_T
4:12
By the way, you know what drives me nuts?   When a particular city or restaurant is alleged to have the "best hot dogs."
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:12 
4:12
THEY ARE HOT DOGS
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:12 
4:12
THEY ARE PIG SNOUTS AND EYE JELLY
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:12 
4:12
2-2 on "Mark DeRosa."
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:12 
4:13
[Comment From SpuzzSpuzz: ] 
Ken Griffey Jr. reproduces by stealing Will Smith's kids.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:13 Spuzz
4:13
hahaha, not sure why that made me laugh
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:13 
4:13
Hudson walks him.   Soto was running.   It's a good thing he walked him because there was no chance Soto was running all that way.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:13 
4:14
In his spare time,. Soto enjoys standing on the moving walkway at O'Hare and picking his nose.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:14 
4:14
[Comment From MDTMDT: ] 
Yeah well my city has the best traffic lights
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:14 MDT
4:14
One time my friend Schmo saw the light turn polka dot!   His uncle runs the traffic light company!   He gets all these free traffic lights!   I think me an' Schmo are gonna turn it into a fish tank!
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:14 
4:15
Hudson is leaving the game.   Not sure yet who's replacing him.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:15 
4:16
The Braves' bullpen is made up of six replicated instances of a southpaw named Billy Bulls***.   His repertoire features a meatball, a slowball, and the ball that turns into an egg like Yoshi throws in Mario Baseball.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:16 
4:16
Jorge Campillo comes in, manages to quickly pop out DeRosa.   Inning over.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:16 
4:17
[Comment From GuestGuest: ] 
is it basballs answer to willis reed
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:17 Guest
4:17
Yes.   In fact, I am Willis Reed and you are Willis Reed.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:17 
4:18
Whoa.   Did Erin Esurance find a boyfriend?
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:18 
4:18
He's some sort of coffee-shop guitar playing douchebag.   The tall drink of water she's always having adventures with is shown only in photo album-style flashbacks.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:18 
4:19
I guess the robot killed him?   Those commercials are getting too dark for me.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:19 
4:19
TOP OF THE EIGHTH
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:19 
4:19
Braves 2, Cubs 1.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:19 
4:20
Teixeira walked, I took a tinkle, there is a commercial break.   I guess Zambrano was yanked, or ate somebody.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:20 
4:21
To further a previous discussion:
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:21 
4:21
[Comment From BobTheMonkeyBobTheMonkey: ] 
No, I'M Willis Reed!
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:21 BobTheMonkey
4:21
[Comment From SpartacusSpartacus: ] 
I'm willis reed
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:21 Spartacus
4:21
We shall get to the bottom of this!
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:21 
4:22
We're back.   Scott Eyre and his weirdbeard take the hill.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:22 
4:22
McCann at bat, one on, nobody out.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:22 
4:22
McCann lines to third.   Runners on second and third!
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:22 
4:23
Lines to third?   What?   Hello!
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:23 
4:23
Lines to right.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:23 
4:24
They're going to intentionally walk Jeff Francouer here.   Not a bad call.   There's a good chance he'll hack away at at least two of them.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:24 
4:24
They're going to intentionally walk Jeff Francouer here.   Not a bad call.   There's a good chance he'll hack away at at least two.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:24 
4:24
Bases are loaded for Greg Norton.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:24 
4:25
Greg Norton always knocks on my door and bugs me whenever I start up my computer.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:25 
4:25
Always asking me if I want to pay $59.99 for the full experience.   I always declines, he always trudges away, head down, dragging teddy bear in a wagon behind him.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:25 
4:28
Sorry, technical difficulties, had to restart the flawless Firefox 3.0.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:28 
4:28
Should have paid Greg Norton that $60.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:28 
4:28
Bases loaded, 2-2 count. 1 out.   Blanco is up.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:28 
4:28
He strikes out looking, two away.   And who's up?
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:28 
4:29
Infante steps up to pinch-hit.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:29 
4:30
Jorge Campillo was reaching the end of his rope anyway.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:30 
4:30
He threw one pitch, I think.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:30 
4:30
[Comment From SaberSaber: ] 
I have always wondered, how do you all decide who does what games?
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:30 Saber
4:31
Dice throwing and nonsense.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:31 
4:31
[Comment From matt_Tmatt_T: ] 
Campillo is supposed to start on Sunday
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:31 matt_T
4:31
Oh good, one less reason to watch baseball on Sunday.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:31 
4:31
[Comment From SaberSaber: ] 
drinking games?
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:31 Saber
4:32
Yeah, it's called "Drink."   If you take a drink, you have to take a drink.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:32 
4:32
Carlos Marmol is coming on with a 2.23 ERA.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:32 
4:33
I'm calling shenanigans.   It's impossible to let up .23 of a run.   It's called maths, people.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:33 
4:33
Bases are still loaded with two away.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:33 
4:33
1-0 on Infante.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:33 
4:33
2-1.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:33 
4:34
He hacks really weakly, as if he's trying to catch the ball with his bat and then hit it.   2-2 count.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:34 
4:34
And he strikes out looking.   Inning over, three stranded.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:34 
4:35
[Comment From MDTMDT: ] 
I drafted Marmol in fantasy this year only because my sports betting site wouldn't let me bet money on Kerry Wood's arm exploding and killing seven
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:35 MDT
4:35
If this happens, does Dusty Baker get shipped to Guantanamo?
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:35 
4:35
BOTTOM OF THE EIGHTH
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:35 
4:36
Braves 2, Cubs 1, Willis Reed.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:36 
4:37
Blaine Boyer manages to elicit the first out of the inning.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:37 
4:38
Theriot grounds out.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:38 
4:38
If you say "Blaine Boyer" out loud, you taste oatmeal in your mouth.   Try it!
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:38 
4:39
Derrek Lee manages to glance the ball off Escobar's glove and stretch it into a double.   Center fielder Blanco manages to fling the ball into the Mid-Base Territories.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:39 
4:39
[Comment From matt_Tmatt_T: ] 
I got maple and brown sugar
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:39 matt_T
4:40
Mine is not flavored.   It is not bitter, sweet, sour, spicy, or umami.   It is neither hot or cold, and because it is lukewarm I will spew it out of my mouth.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:40 
4:41
1-2 count on Ramirez with Lee at second.   Two away.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:41 
4:42
Full count.   Now Derrek Lee has to run on the pitch, regardless of what it is.   Might be some foul balls here.   It must be exhausting to cast the illusion that you care.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:42 
4:43
Two foul balls.   Brian McCann just ran past the wall.   I figured that area would have some sort of temporary fence.   THERES A CRACK, FRIENDS, ESCAPE BEFORE THEY NOTICE
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:43 
4:43
Ramirez walks after two foul balls.   Men on 1 and 2, two out.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:43 
4:43
Fukudome comes to bat.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:43 
4:45
[Comment From matt_Tmatt_T: ] 
I don't think you can say that on aol
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:45 matt_T
4:45
Quick experiment.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:45 
4:45
Jeezy Pete!
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:45 
4:45
1
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:45 
4:45
2
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:45 
4:45
3
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:45 
4:45
No sniper bullet found my mouth.   We're clear.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:45 
4:46
1-2 on Fukudome.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:46 
4:46
The Cubs fans are on their feet.   They really put the "stands" in "stands"!
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:46 
4:47
2-2 count.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:47 
4:47
Chipper snags a sharply struck baseball, steps on third.   Inning over, two stranded.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:47 
4:48
[Comment From BismarkBismark: ] 
Sure hope no one comes between them and their "Momma Bear!" If they do, they're sure to be "disemboweled!"
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:48 Bismark
4:48
Do you know about bears?   I know about bears.   We should hang out!
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:48 
4:48
TOP OF THE NINTH
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:48 
4:49
Braves 2, Cubs 1.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:49 
4:49
I hate it when a game reaches the 9th inning and the visiting team is up.   There's no way we won't actually have to stick around for a full nine.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:49 
4:50
I have that same look that the jerk at Subway gives you when you walk in the door at 8:37.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:50 
4:50
I have expressed this sentiment several times before, but I believe that if a food establishment is going to post hours until 9:00, they should not fling daggers out of their eyes if you come in the door twenty minutes prior.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:50 
4:51
[Comment From MDTMDT: ] 
"The Subway closed at 5, sir."
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:51 MDT
4:51
That was double-enforced glass?   I thought it was a stiff wind!   Terribly sorry.   How's yer Ma, how's yer Pa?
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:51 
4:51
One away.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:51 
4:52
Piniella is coming to the mound and signaling for Cotts.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:52 
4:52
I'm going to be so mad if they take a nap right now.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:52 
4:52
[Comment From BismarkBismark: ] 
nap time
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:52 Bismark
4:52
I made it first.   I made the joke first.   I made it first.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:52 
4:53
Hahaha, I don't know what the hell this commercial is, but it features a contemporary version of a Limp Bizkit song.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:53 
4:54
Fred Durst collects royalties, cashes $2.41at customer service counter of grocery store, spends it on canned beans and corn, cruises home on his chopper bicycle.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:54 
4:55
Kelly Johnson doubles behind Fukudome's ball-dropping error.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:55 
4:55
[Comment From SaberSaber: ] 
i thought the Yankees had canned beans?
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:55 Saber
4:56
It seems as though canned beans can exist in two or more places simultaneously.   Updates on this matter as warranted.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:56 
4:56
0-2 hole on Chipper, one away, ne'er-do-well on second.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:56 
4:56
Chipper strikes out.   His average dips to .FRED
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:56 
4:57
More Durst-centric speculation
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:57 
4:57
[Comment From BismarkBismark: ] 
giant yard-herpe begins barking excitedly at his arrival, to which he says "SHADDAP"
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:57 Bismark
4:57
[Comment From DomeDome: ] 
ha, that'll teach him to diss me
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:57 Dome
4:58
Teixeira has a 2-0 count on Neil Cotts.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:58 
4:58
They decide to intentionally walk him.   Base clogging!
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:58 
4:58
Wrigley is going to rupture a carotid artery!
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:58 
4:59
Wrigley pratfalls, tells Mama he's comin'.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:59 
4:59
McCann at bat, runners on the corners, two away.   0-1 count.
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:59 
4:59
0-2 count.   Come on, squatty, move them platelets about!
Thursday June 12, 2008 4:59 
5:00
Struck him out.   Wrigley must re-learn to use left arm.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:00 
5:00
[Comment From MDTMDT: ] 
If I was a major league pitcher I'd contend that all my walks were intentional. I'd make MILLIONS.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:00 MDT
5:01
Sources: Ben Linus signs $100 million deal
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:01 
5:01
BOTTOM OF THE NINTH
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:01 
5:01
Braves 2, Cubs 1.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:01 
5:03
Looks like Boyer is still on.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:03 
5:04
Or it tastes like it, anyway.   No name on his jersey, but my mouth tastes like Quaker.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:04 
5:04
Soto almost takes it out, but the wind blows it favorably so Oscar Oakleys out there can snag it.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:04 
5:05
Eye black is not hard, you jerks.   Wine cork and frying pan.  
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:05 
5:05
One away.   Jim Edmonds is up.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:05 
5:05
Oh, you are shitting me.   Not going to edit that.   You are shitting me.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:05 
5:05
He just hit a home run.  
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:05 
5:05
TIE GAME.   Braves 2, Cubs 2.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:05 
5:06
There is blood in my oatmeal.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:06 
5:07
0-2 count, one away, DeRosa at bat.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:07 
5:07
I'm not a Braves fan anymore.   Just hit this home run so I can stand up and take out some garbage.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:07 
5:07
[Comment From SpigotSpigot: ] 
Quaker Oats: Jon Bois' Blood & Berry flavor
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:07 Spigot
5:08
My tongue is in two, I spit the rogue flesh against my monitor and it streaks slowly down the glass.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:08 
5:09
There go my sweet and salty taste buds.   Everything I taste for the rest of my days will be bitter.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:09 
5:09
[Comment From MattMatt: ] 
Jon, how many extar innings before you take a knife to your throat?
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:09 Matt
5:09
Let's say three.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:09 
5:10
Ohman has stomped his ass on the mound vs. Ronny Cedeno.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:10 
5:10
Nobody on, two away.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:10 
5:10
[Comment From TonyTony: ] 
Bring in Mark Wohlers!
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:10 Tony
5:10
I wonder what Wohlers is doing these days.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:10 
5:11
Probably shaking down liquor stores.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:11 
5:12
"Walk in liquor store.   If clerk does not check ID, inform him that you are with the city.   Ask for a bottle of Glenmore as bribe.   Drink in back alley, use small portion to disinfect open sores.   Repeat at another liquor store."
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:12 
5:12
"The Mark Wohlers story."   Good read.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:12 
5:12
So Cedeno outed himself, and we are going to the tenth.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:12 
5:13
TOP OF THE TENTH
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:13 
5:13
Braves 2, Cubs 2.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:13 
5:13
Kerry Wood takes the mound v. Francouer.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:13 
5:13
[Comment From BobTheMonkeyBobTheMonkey: ] 
Free Baseball!
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:13 BobTheMonkey
5:14
Shut your god damn mouth.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:14 
5:14
[Comment From MDTMDT: ] 
Fornelli's warming up in the pen
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:14 MDT
5:14
I'd take Fornelli over anyone presently in a Braves uniform who is sitting in a folding chair.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:14 
5:15
Francoeur strikes out.   Ruben Gotay is at bat.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:15 
5:15
He actually takes the ball on up to the track, Fukudome backpedals it down.   Two away.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:15 
5:16
Gregor Blanco is at bat.   Which one?   Pick a side!
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:16 
5:17
2-1 count.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:17 
5:17
Both Greg and Blanco strike out.   Cubs come to bat.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:17 
5:18
BOTTOM OF THE TENTH
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:18 
5:18
Braves 2, Cubs 2.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:18 
5:20
How long until we can quit this nonsense and do some push-ups?
One inning
 ( 13% )
Two inning
 ( 35% )
Three inning
 ( 17% )
Ah ah ah
 ( 35% )

Thursday June 12, 2008 5:20 
5:20
Acosta takes the mound.   This could be over within minutes.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:20 
5:20
Patterson the Other grounds out.   Theriot steps up.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:20 
5:21
In regards to the top of the tenth:
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:21 
5:21
[Comment From TonyTony: ] 
Is that four outs then? Does the last one carry over to the 11th?
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:21 Tony
5:21
"11th inning" is a cuss word around here.   One more offense and you're banned.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:21 
5:21
2-1 count on Nobody Cares.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:21 
5:22
Escobar makes a nice backhanded whatever and throw it to some John at first.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:22 
5:22
Escobar makes a nice backhanded whatever and throw it to some John at first.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:22 
5:22
Two away.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:22 
5:22
[Comment From CamCam: ] 
This is a good game.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:22 Cam
5:23
Knock it off.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:23 
5:23
Inning over.   We're going to the e l e v e n t h .
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:23 
5:24
[Comment From MattMatt: ] 
your descent into madness is fascinating
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:24 Matt
5:24
Why don't you put me in a zoo, Father?   Why don't you feed me scraps and chips?   What is that noise?
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:24 
5:24
[Comment From EJEJ: ] 
I'm going to start doing push-ups now
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:24 EJ
5:25
Throw in three to four girl push-ups for me!
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:25 
5:25
TOP OF THE ELEVENTH INNING OF THE BASEBALL GAME THAT'S BEING PLAYED AND I'M TYPING ABOUT
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:25 
5:25
Braves guh, Cubs ergh.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:25 
5:26
[Comment From MDTMDT: ] 
What's the stats on BiB and extra inning games this year? I know there've been one or two already. Maybe the baseball gods have it out for livebloggers
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:26 MDT
5:26
I haven't done one yet.   I didn't imagine it would be possible.   I did not bring an extra oxygen tank.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:26 
5:27
Faceless man strikes out, one away.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:27 
5:27
[Comment From BismarkBismark: ] 
THE BALL IS WHITE
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:27 Bismark
5:27
0-2 on Yunel Escoblegh
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:27 
5:28
Caught.   Out.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:28 
5:28
Do you guys ever mistake Michael Douglas for Martin Sheen?
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:28 
5:29
Kelly Johnson at bat.   He doubles for reasons that escape me.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:29 
5:29
[Comment From SpigotSpigot: ] 
BASE BALL
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:29 Spigot
5:29
YES, THAT
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:29 
5:29
[Comment From TonyTony: ] 
He's not the best play-by-play man in the game for nothin', folks.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:29 Tony
5:30
I haven't had a sip of alcohol all day, but I'm feeling awful clumsy.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:30 
5:30
They should start selling World Series DVDs on liquor store counters.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:30 
5:30
[Comment From MDTMDT: ] 
Just tell the little AOL running guy who I assume is your boss that your keyboard exploded and you could not continue. Little yellow running guy is kind and merciful.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:30 MDT
5:31
One morning I awoke, turned on my computer, and found that AOL Buddy bludgeoned BonziBuddy to death with an underscore.   He's all right by me.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:31 
5:31
He's just a buddy helping his buddies out.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:31 
5:31
Two out, two on, Teixeira at bat.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:31 
5:31
1-1 count.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:31 
5:32
[Comment From Mike LMike L: ] 
Chipper Jones is hitting over .400 if no one noticed
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:32 Mike L
5:32
Mr. Hindenburg, that is one spiffy paint job on your balloon!
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:32 
5:32
Teixeira is at 2-2.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:32 
5:33
Full count.   Hold on, I think my fingernails are growing.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:33 
5:34
Strike three. Men stranded.   I am alone on a stone in the middle of the ocean.   A Komodo dragon and a Gila monster slither from the waters.   I am armed with a nightstick, and I don't know how I got here.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:34 
5:35
I am going to hollow out this Komodo dragon and use his husk for a raft.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:35 
5:35
BOTTOM OF THE ELEVENTH
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:35 
5:35
Braves 2, Cubs 2.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:35 
5:36
One swing of the bat can eject that toad from my throat.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:36 
5:36
Acosta vs. Ramirez.   This could so easily be a home run.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:36 
5:36
I'm a man without a team.   Screw it.   Hit this one out.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:36 
5:37
[Comment From BismarkBismark: ] 
At the stroke of the 12th inning, Jon's computer turned into a pumpkin, and the beautiful dress that had been fashioned for him by kindly mice turned into an apron of ammoniated urine and frayed rope
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:37 Bismark
5:38
I have but precious minutes left on this rock before I am devoured.   I grab some flint from my pack and scrawl a poor man's patent for my "Nintendo cartridge harmonica" idea into a stone.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:38 
5:38
Ramirez walks.   Fukudome is at bat with a 1-0 count.   Nobody out.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:38 
5:39
Passed ball!   Ramirez reaches second.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:39 
5:39
Please, Fukudome, be my magic giant bird to my lava-stranded Hobbit.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:39 
5:39
[Comment From SpigotSpigot: ] 
In the thirteenth inning: The rapture
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:39 Spigot
5:39
[Comment From chiefchief: ] 
It puts the lotion on the skin, or it gets the 12th inning
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:39 chief
5:40
These comments are not nearly apocryphal enough.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:40 
5:40
[Comment From BismarkBismark: ] 
deus-ex pitching machina
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:40 Bismark
5:40
Better.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:40 
5:40
Soto at bat, two on, nobody out.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:40 
5:41
There is no way in Hell Manny Acosta escapes this.   I'm going to shove him into the waiting jaws of the Komodo and clamber up the helicopter's rope ladder.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:41 
5:41
[Comment From SpigotSpigot: ] 
Jon, what did we do to deserve this
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:41 Spigot
5:41
I swallowed a penny when I was four.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:41 
5:42
YES
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:42 
5:42
NO
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:42 
5:43
A single, but Ramirez had to stop at third.   So the bases are loaded with nobody out.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:43 
5:43
I'm excited!   I'm feelin' like the mother of the world right now!
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:43 
5:43
[Comment From EJEJ: ] 
Jim Edmonds will set you free
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:43 EJ
5:43
Ohhhhh God.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:43 
5:44
Yep, it's a double play at minimum.   Especially now that Acosta is getting yanked.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:44 
5:44
[Comment From MattMatt: ] 
double play?
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:44 Matt
5:44
[Comment From TonyTony: ] 
Triple play time.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:44 Tony
5:44
[Comment From MattMatt: ] 
quadruple play?
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:44 Matt
5:44
PENTUPLE PLAY
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:44 
5:44
SEXTUPLE PLAY
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:44 
5:44
BASTARD FROM A BASKET
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:44 
5:44
BASTARD FROM A BASKET
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:44 
5:45
In case you're just joining us, welcome to the Braves-Cubs live blog!   We're enjoying free baseball!
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:45 
5:45

Thursday June 12, 2008 5:45 
5:45
[Comment From Mike LMike L: ] 
Who the hell is Jeff Ridgway
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:45 Mike L
5:45
He's the man who will set me free.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:45 
5:45
THANK YOU JEFF RIDGEWAY
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:45 
5:46
Jeff Ridgeway is my hero.   You know what he just did?
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:46 
5:46
First pitch.   Hits the batter in the leg.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:46 
5:46
Game over.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:46 
5:47
I hustle up the rope and am pulled into the chopper.   It pitches, yaws, and flies away.   I look beyond my shoulder.   Acosta is being swallowed.   His face only shows from the jaws of the Komodo.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:47 
5:47
Contorted, yet complacent; resigned.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:47 
5:47
My friends and family are waiting on the beach.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:47 
5:48
And now, I will open it up to you, my dear friends.   Post any comment that isn't terribly vulgar, and I will let it fly.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:48 
5:48
[Comment From swaeriaswaeria: ] 
omg. wgn america. STOP PLAYING THE SAME 2 COMMERCIALS OVER AND OVER AGAIN!
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:48 swaeria
5:48
[Comment From BismarkBismark: ] 
hope you're enjoying our little "social experiment" hehhhhhhh
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:48 Bismark
5:48
[Comment From swaeriaswaeria: ] 
lol
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:48 swaeria
5:48
[Comment From SpigotSpigot: ] 
/500 MILLION PUSH UPS
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:48 Spigot
5:48
[Comment From MattMatt: ] 
national hero
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:48 Matt
5:48
[Comment From TonyTony: ] 
He wanted to get the hell out of there too.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:48 Tony
5:48
[Comment From EJEJ: ] 
Lou Pinella is a baseball genius on the level of Montgomery Burns!!!
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:48 EJ
5:48
[Comment From giftedguru1970giftedguru1970: ] 
THANK GOD!
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:48 giftedguru1970
5:48
[Comment From BobTheMonkeyBobTheMonkey: ] 
Welp, braves lose another 1-run extra innings game. I guess the universe doesn't explode.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:48 BobTheMonkey
5:48
[Comment From SpigotSpigot: ] 
This better be the next Dugout running joke: Acosta stranded on an island; attacked by komodo dragons
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:48 Spigot
5:48
Maybe if I ever reach that level of madness again.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:48 
5:48
[Comment From Mike LMike L: ] 
You should have kept him around to speed up games Jon.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:48 Mike L
5:49
[Comment From MattMatt: ] 
woot woot woot
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:49 Matt
5:49
[Comment From kckc: ] 
Isn't there a little bit of Willis Reed in all of us?
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:49 kc
5:49
[Comment From SpigotSpigot: ] 
Seriously, next Baseball is Boring: Make it one I can be the whole time for, so I can provide you a movie that is not baseball.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:49 Spigot
5:49
Yeah, we still need to come up with a way to broadcast these further in advance.   Check wordupthome.com next week, I hope to have something together.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:49 
5:49
[Comment From BobTheMonkeyBobTheMonkey: ] 
The Braves don't care, they're going to LA
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:49 BobTheMonkey
5:49
[Comment From ESPNESPN: ] 
This has nothing to do with the Yankees or Red Sox. Why is this being covered?
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:49 ESPN
5:49
[Comment From EJEJ: ] 
Who is Willis Reed?
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:49 EJ
5:50
All this, and this question was not answered.   I feel like a fool.   I feel like a fool.   I feel like a fool.   I feel like a fool.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:50 
5:50
[Comment From SpigotSpigot: ] 
WE ALL ARE WILLIS REED
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:50 Spigot
5:50
Thanks, spigot!
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:50 
5:50
[Comment From TonyTony: ] 
Willis Reed is baseball's answer to Willis Reed.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:50 Tony
5:50
And that will do it.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:50 
5:50
God knows why any of you stuck around.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:50 
5:50
God knows why I did.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:50 
5:51
Final score: Cubs 3, Braves 2.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:51 
5:51
Go do some push-ups.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:51 
5:51
Better yourselves.
Thursday June 12, 2008 5:51 
5:51



 
 
 
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