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Drunkblogging The MTV VMAs
8:58
We're off!
8:59
All together now: "I can't believe I'm missing True Blood for THIS SHIT!"
9:00
It's Vadge! Don't look directly into her eyes or you will turn to stone!
9:00
Too late. I'm already stoned. GONG!
9:01
If you love Vadge's outfit, you can buy it in the clearance section at Express.
9:01
Is this shit slam poetry or something?
9:02
"Besides, me of course." You know she wanted to say that.
9:02
Dear Pete Wentz, now is not the time to take a nap. RUDE!
9:03
Is it just her Valley of the Dolls hair or does Vadge has a case of the wonk eye?
9:03
Please tell me Vadge is about to tell a sloppy handjob story about Michael Jackson.
9:04
Basically, Vadge tried to get Michael Jackson to eat her cooze. That tramp!
9:05
Edgar Allen Poe wrote this, right?
9:05
Hans Zimmer should've done the soundtrack for Vadge's speech.
9:06
This needs a pack of wild horses running behind her.
9:06
All human beings except you, Madonna. WELL, she set it up. Blame her!
9:07
Vadge just admitted that her little boys crotch grab a lot. PedoBear just pricked up.
9:07
They should've played that rocket shit on a loop instead of making Vadge speak.
9:08
Some white boy is thumping to Michael Jackson's Thriller. There's the joke.
9:08
The Filipino prisoners were ROBBED! That should be them on that stage!
9:09
Meanwhile, Chris Brown is performing this same routine in the parking lot of a county fair somewhere.
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