COVERITLIVE.COM

8:44

Megan - Morning, Alex!

We are apparently finally practicing the withdrawal method in Iraq, after all that surging, and the Iraqis really like it. They're making a whole holiday out of it!

8:46

Pareene - I love that trumpet-playin guy. It's like they are having a New Orleans funeral for our endless occupation. With maybe a few more guns.

8:48

Pareene - Anyway this means we won, right? Or... did they win? Someone has won.

8:49

Pareene - Oh, hah, right, global oil companies won.

8:50

Megan -

http://images.huffingtonpost.com/gen/89477/thumbs/r-IRAQ-large.jpg

They have fireworks, too! Which I'm sure makes the gun-owners slightly more edgy.

Well, everyone knows we already won back when Bush announced Mission Accomplished. And the oil companies won as soon as we invaded, naturally, because they are winning-er than anyone.

8:51

Pareene - I know! They always win! So why is Dick Cheney so mad?

8:54

Pareene - Guess he hoped he'd be invited to a National Sovereignty Day party.

8:54

Pareene - He is a man who enjoys shooting firearms wildly.

8:54

Megan - Maybe because Halliburton hasn't hired him back yet? Or because a withdrawal from Baghdad leaves him with less flesh on which to feed to maintain his youthful appearance? Maybe he's like the goo from Ghostbusters II and can only grow stronger when people are mean and pissed off?

8:55

Pareene - That would explain why he was wheelchair-bound during the Obama inauguration. That was sort of the real-world equivalent of when the Statue of Liberty came to life and made all those '80s New Yorkers feel all patriotic.

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