Greetings!   Tonight is Time Out New York’s annual Eat Out Awards and you’ve just gotten front-row seats to one of New York City’s primo culinary happenings. Okay, not literally, but The Feed will be live-blogging the event for your pleasure at (Le) Poisson Rouge. While you vegetate at home in your puffy slippers, we will courageously sit in the front row for you, throwing all caution to the wind, furiously typing our little fingers off, bringing you play-by-play coverage of who went home with a coveted Eat Out Awards plate and who, alas, did not.

Everything will be in real-time, so forgive any minor typos or grammatical hiccups. Of course, we promise that any wardrobe malfunctions will be documented in their shocking entirety! Our coverage will be soup-to-nuts, as it were, including every pick by our esteemed and devilish staff, as well as those by our dear (and opinionated) readers. The mustachioed Mike Rucker and the glamorous Gabriella Gershenson, Eat Out editor, will be emceeing the event and trying to contain the inevitable giddy pandemonium.

Did someone say cocktails?   Your trusted correspondent would like to pause now for station inebriation. We’ll be, um, right back. Barkeep!

It never hurts to get a crowd liquored up, and the Eat Out Awards are no exception. Polish vodka Ozel was splashed into martinis, and cocktails like the Grapefruit Burst, with grapefruit and lime juices, simple syrup and elderflower liqueur. Those trying to maintain a slight degree of sobriety are sipping Maximo Tempranillo, a feisty Spanish red, and the reliable Stella Artois beer. The room is crowding up, the lighting is dim, and the music is throbbing. I’ll be surprised if an orgy doesn’t break out, though I’m not dressed for one.

Chanteuse Lady Rizo is seducing the crowd with retro tunes replete with double entendres. Lordy, lordy! Is she undressing? Just a bit. Man, it's getting hot in here. Is that a bustier? My, oh my.

Gabriella and Mike are making their way to the stage. My heart is pounding. The hour of truth is upon us! Expectations, hopes and dreams are in jeopardy. The first half of the awards, a.k.a. “Critics’ picks,” were selected by the Eat Out staff, and while in good fun, they actually document some of this year’s most important trends. I'm not kidding. It's really about to start. Under pain of death, do not leave your computer!  

It's really happening. Momofuku phenom David Chang is in the house, as is Julie Reiner of Clover Club. Chef Paul Liebrandt is on his cell phone! Chef Michael "Bao" Huynh and wife/chef Thao Nguyen are looking smashing together. Chef Marlo Scott is bopping around. The Char No. 4 team definitely know how to get their drink on!  


 

Now the fun begins. Susur Lee of Shang, a Toronto transplant who defies classification, has grabbed the award for the “Best chef without boundaries.”

Park Slope’s Beer Table, which has been effectively sabotaging the neighborhood’s Abs of Steel with its superior brews, can now crow it’s the “Best place to cultivate a beer belly.”

Japanophiles will not be surprised to learn that Ippudo NY has walked off with the “Best justification for the ramen craze” award, given its ethereal fresh-made noodles and sublime tonkotsu stock.

Bespoke Chocolates has won “Best sweet revenge” thanks to chocolatier Rachel Zoe Insler’s addictively good, pretzel-covered, sea-salted caramels and her realm of other handmade sweets.

Paul Liebrandt of Corton was named “Best bad boy turned good.” It seems that his successful partnership with Drew Nieporent put him on the path to everything culinarily righteous and good.

Cabrito can now claim “Best new Mexican” with its authentic comida and well-crafted cocktails that make your sombrero spin.

"We're both very drunk and have nothing to say," said the Cabrito boys.

As further proof that the Atkins craze is totally toast, Convivio has won “Most seductive use of carbs.” Chef Michael White has done his part to banish carbophobia with winning homemade pastas, delicate rice balls and Parmesan potatoes.  

Motorino won “Best new artisan pie” for its Neapolitan pièce de résistance: a charred crust that’s airy yet elastic, sweet tomato sauce and gooey pools of fior di latte mozzarella.  

The “Most welcome gentrifier” went to James, a Prospect Heights upgrade with an elevated menu and cocktails to match.  

Sweet Revenge was named “Best case against cupcake backlash.” Baker Marlo Scott squashed the Magnolia-clone cutesy phenomenon with very adult wine pairings and spiky licks of frosting.  

No. 7 got the “Best unlikely marriage” nod for mashing up the flavors of chef Tyler Kord’s Hungarian ancestry with his wife’s Korean roots.

Salumeria Rosi nabbed the “Best ticket to Italy.” Chef Cesare Casella conjures up a charming slice of his native land in this cozy spot for the gastro-tourist in all of us.