COVERITLIVE.COM

12:39

Philly.com - Welcome to our chat! Mark will be along shortly to answer your questions, so go ahead and submit them.

12:54

QOHweddings - Hi - Mark from The Queen of Hearts Wedding Consultants here!

Happy to be here answering some of your planning and etiquette questions - iif by chance you have a question that is too personal or specific only to you- you might want to shoot me a quick email after the chat at Mark@QOHweddings.com -

Make sure you tell me we met me here on the Philly.com chat

12:56

[Comment From Jackie]
My fiance and I have been together almost 8 years (engaged for 2). This will be my second marriage. I'm not interested in a big wedding. Actually I would like it to be just the two of us. I don't want to run to vegas but I'm not sure how to go anywhere else for the weekend because of the whole marriage license ahead of time. Most states you have to apply in person and wait two weeks. Any suggestions something intimate and convenient without being trashy??

12:59

QOHweddings - Hi Jackie- A really simple answer is to find a small bed and breakfast in the same state you live in ... the application proces in PA for residents is 3 day wait and is good for 60 days... you could go away fairly close by do a small private ceremony and not have the long out of state wait...

1:00	QOHweddings - the application proces in both NJ and DE are fairly similar so a quick, quiet getaway is really easy to do

1:01

[Comment From Tom]
I'm getting married in October to my high school sweetheart. I want to invite more friends to the wedding, but my fiance insists if I do, she taking it out of "my side" of the guest list for family. The problem is, Out of 200 guests, my family is only allotted 50 because of her large family. Is it normal to have friends included in the family list?

1:03

QOHweddings - Thanks Tom- unfortunately sometimes in weddings we go by the "golden rule' he who has the gold makes the rules and sometimes this tends to favor the family paying for the wedding. A good rule is to split the total number of guests into three parts- your family, her family and the two of you as a couple

1:04	[Comment From Jackie] Thanks Mark. I did look into that. I like to book places through word of mouth so I'll ask around to see if anyone has any suggestions.

1:04	QOHweddings - if you family is smaller you can fill in with your friends, if her's is larger she might not be able to include as many of "her' friends- but this leaves the two fo you a fuill third for your friends or to really learn the art of giving in and working together

1:05	[Comment From Susie] When should I start a sunday night black tie affair

1:07	QOHweddings - Black Tie - is always a rough term... as much of it has to do with the formailty of the location and invitations as it does the time.... traditionally we're looking at a ceremony not starting before 5PM

1:08	[Comment From Tom] The other problem is that the only friends she is inviting are her bridesmaids, so she doesn't see my friends as "our friends".

1:08	QOHweddings - However- I have several weddings where we do an afternoon ceremony and then people are changing into Black Tie for a 5/5:30/6 PM reception - the trick is leaving enough time for people to change...

1:09	QOHweddings - ok Tom, so we're looking at her friends being her family .. tough call if she doesn't consider your friends to be both of your friends

1:11

[Comment From Elyssa]
We've opted to do a small wedding with about 50 people this December and plan to do a vow renewal down the road where we can invite everyone else. Do we send a save the date to only those people we're inviting in December, or do we send something to everyone else we hope to invite for the larger party?

1:11	QOHweddings - Tom- there are no hard fast rules for this - it takes a lot of talking and there are times I have gotten in the middle of this with clients who really neeed a neutral third part

1:12	QOHweddings - Elyssa- I'd only send the save the date to those people coming in December... the other party is still too vague... especially if you haven't set a date for the renewal

1:14	[Comment From Guest] do you help with committment ceramonies

1:14

QOHweddings - I've also had situations where we did a private family ceremony and dinner to follow for about 40 people and then immediately after that did a cocktail party with a cake to cut and a dj for the rest of the larger group... made cutting the list less stressful and kept the budget down

1:14	QOHweddings - ABSOLUTELY!

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