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6:02	Vanity Fair - An eager Ryan Seacrest cuts the ribbon of the 81st Academy Awards' red carpet. First-time producers' Laurence Mark and Bill Condon's great experiment begins!

6:21	John Lopez - Hugh Jackman just told E! he knocked back three drinks in preparation for hosting, taking a page out of the Harrison Ford play book for Attending An Awards Ceremony.

6:29	John Lopez - E! is trying to inject imaginary suspense into the Oscars by even bothering to ask whether or not Slumdog Millionaire will win Best Picture.

6:32	VF Fashion - On Miley: Isn't the prom in May? Zac Efron: Direct from Madame Tussaud's.

6:33	John Lopez - Michael Shannon: direct from Arkham Asylum.

6:33

marklisanti - StarTracker finally brings EA Sports videogame action to the Oscars. I'm taking control of Seacrest and clotheslining Brad Pitt. #vfoscars

6:34

marklisanti - The Oscars are saved! Zac Efron is here to help Hugh Jackman spirit-fingers the show back to relevance! #vfoscars

6:40

marklisanti - Best guess as to biggest surprise performers: holograms of Marlon Brando and James Dean dancing a waltz. #vfoscars

6:45	John Lopez - My best guess for the surprise: Bill Condon and Laurence Mark have Danny Boyle come out on stage and award the Best Director Oscar to himself.

6:46

marklisanti - Freida Pinto! (Faints, awakens during In Memoriam montage, totally disoriented) #vfoscars

6:47	VF Fashion - Freida Pinto: Galliano—she just always looks good.

6:50	Freida Pinto - Mark, are you the one who's been calling me at all hours? I'm honored! But please stop.

6:52	VF Fashion - Taraji: gorgeous necklace, gorgeous dress...but why the red bag?

6:53

marklisanti - Cheating Millionaire Host Guy won't let Freida get a word in edgewise. He must be dealt with, and harshly. I'm thinking hot oil. #vfoscars

6:55	VF Fashion - John Legend: brown tuxedo?!

6:58	VF Fashion - Danny Boyle: at least wait until after you win to unbutton.

6:59	John Lopez - Wow, Danny Boyle brought actual slumdogs to the Oscars! That's the act of a man who knows he's going to win and nothing he does will stop it.

7:00	Frank DiGiacomo - I hear he's going to attend the after-parties in a suit made from Mumbai sewage.

7:00	Julian Sancton - The kids are there to protect him from a disgruntled Ron Howard's rage after the ceremony.

7:01	John Lopez - As is the sewage.

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