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8:59

Pareene - All right, let's go. I'm cruising down the BQE coming to you live on my phone. Fuck the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, I drive better when I'm distracted!

9:03

Megan - Morning, Alex. Fair warning: getting up in pouring rain to move my car tends to make me grumpy.

9:05

Megan - Why would you get on the BQE during rush hour? Do you like extreme frustration that much?

9:07

Pareene -

I just love the open road and I hate anyone telling me what to do! Or suggesting what I should do, for my own safety, or researching what I should do for my own safety and then burying the results because it might upset congress and the phone industry.

9:09

Megan - I'm not sure the BQE qualifies as "open road" as much as "traffic-clogged clusterfuck of a supposed freeway inveitably snarled by construction and too-thin traffic lanes", but I hear ya. I once got a text message when I was in the car with my parents and got a terrible side-eye from my dad when I went to grab my phone. I had to pretend I was giving it to him to use the GPS.

9:13

Pareene - Well both of us should probably have our debilitating Twitter-related car wrecks soon, because by the August recess all of the medicine will be SOCIALIZED and instead of being treated at a hospital we'll be RATIONED to death.

9:14

Pareene - Ahh, there's Michael Keaton.

9:16

Megan - At least the Republicans have decided to prove Peter Orszag's weekend statements correct and admit that their efforts to "delay" health care is just code for "we're going to chase health care down with scythes and sladgehammers and attempt to kill it in a bloody, orgiastic spectacle ending in a massive circle jerk and offering of jizz to the war gods." Or, at least that's what I took away from this Washington Post article. I might have gotten some of the details wrong.

9:18

Megan - I was sure it would look something like this, as reinterpreted by Disney (i.e., without overt jizz).

9:23

Pareene - Yes, the Republicans, plus Joe Lieberman, Mary Landrieu, Ben Nelson, and Ron Wyden. They don't want to KILL the beast, of course. They just want to remind everyone that if we don't let them create the beast themselves they'll be forced, more in sorrow than in anger, to help kill it.

9:24

Pareene - And they'd like the delay the creation of the beast for a while longer, too, because this isn't something EASY to debate and vote on, like an authorization to use military force.

9:28

Megan - I mean, no one needs health care, like, soon, right? That's the impression they have from everyone they know personally, so it's totally cool for them to delay for 6 months or a year until they've done enough polling to make sure it won't bite them in the ass on election day. It's not like they want to vote for something good, they just want to vote for something that their electoral opponents can't use to attack them later. Vive le republic!

9:30

Megan - Except for Lieberman, who just does it for the lulz, I feel like it's some sort of weird C Street initiation ceremony.

9:30

Pareene - Well, the delay tactic is desperation by a bunch of people who don't want a new government safety net to make their "every man for himself" sales pitch ineffective for a generation. As Bill Kristol said back in 1993: "But the long-term political effects of a successful Clinton beast-creation bill will be even worse--much worse. It will relegitimize middle-class dependence for "security" on government monster-engineering and mutant-development. It will revive the reputation of the party that spends and creates beasts, the Democrats, as the generous protector of middle-class interests. And it will at the same time strike a punishing blow against Republican claims to defend the middle class by restraining ungodly creatures."

9:32

Megan - Uh, I don't even know where to go with that... I'm a mutant? The government is engineering monsters? I mean, I guess that explains the House Republican Study Committee, but, damn, Kristol does love snacking on his own...

Oh, wait, now the origins of the phrase "munch on a bag of dicks" is clear to me.

9:34

Pareene - Hah, ok, I should probably be done with the beast analogy now. Hey, C Street! I imagine prayer breakfasts there are pretty much like the orgy scene in "Eyes Wide Shut" only the hookers are industry lobbyists. And they end up with $96k in hush money instead of dead.

9:35

Megan - Well, and probably pretty ineptly fucked, unless Ensign was doing all the fucking: I mean, Doug Hampton's basically told the world that Ensign fucked his wife so good she didn't want him to stop.

9:37

Megan - John Ensign should guest-star in Hung! Once he's forced the resign because of his massive pleasure-stick, that is.

9:39

Pareene - That's what I'd like Katie Couric to ask Barack Obama. Just HOW GOOD is John Ensign at fucking his wife, Mr. President?

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