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12:06

Admin - Hello and welcome to our Live Chat on discipline and development. We have invited Doctor Sara Rizvi to answer your questions.

12:07

Admin - Doctor Rizvi is a pediatrician and an assistant professor in the Department of Pediatrics at Baylor College of Medicine.

12:08

Rizvi - Hello everyone!

12:08

[Comment From Paula]
What is the best discipline for a 2-year old that can be used for say hitting someone?

12:10

Rizvi - I'll answer the question on disciplining a 2 year old who is hitting someone. The key is to teach them to stop hitting in a way that is effective in extinguishing the behavior.

12:11

Rizvi - Three important techniques that can be use are
1. Logical consequences
2. Natural consequences
3. Time out techniques

12:13

Rizvi - Logical consequences is most effective for behaviors where for example a child is playing roughly with a toy and breaks it...or keeps dropping something on the floor like food.....the logical consequence is that the toy breaks and the food is lost and they aren't usable any longer.

For hitting behavior...time out may be effective. Hitting behavior is often seen when the child becomes frustrated and resorts to acting out to get their way....attention is often the goal...even if it is negative attention.

12:15

Rizvi - For time out- a general rule is one minute for each year of age...so for a two year old...a two minute time-out would be appropriate.
Time out should occur immediately after the undesirable behavior, be sustained-meaning you can't give in before the ENTIRE two minutes is up....and it needs to occur in a place with no distractions or toys.

12:16

Rizvi - Being consistent with time-out when the child hits others will be helpful to extinguish the behavior...the child will learn that when they perform the bad behavior they get time-out and don't get the desired attention. I hope you find this answers your question...

12:16

[Comment From Bmoss]
At what age should I start using time out when my child disobeys

12:17

Rizvi -

Time outs can be used starting at around 18 months of age and are a quite effective tool when used properly to help children learn good behavior and control negative behavior....

12:18

[Comment From Sarah]
What should I do when I put my child in time-out and then he starts to spit or growl at me?

12:18

Admin - Dr. Rizvil, we have a similar comment from Liz who asks:
My four year old boy refuses to take time outs at home or in daycare. He starts hitting if forced and it's become a big issue. Other than that, he's pretty good. How can I teach him to take his time outs with out running away or hitting.

Can you address both those questions?

12:21

[Comment From Matt]
Dear Admin, Liz and I have the SAME problem ! That's somewhat reassuring.....

12:21

Rizvi -

For younger children such as a four year old who refuses to stay in time-out...or runs away from the time-out area, it is perfectly acceptable to gently take them by the hand and lead them BACK to the time out area and make them finish the full time-out. Avoid being rough with the child or resorting to becoming physical, even if they hit at you.

For older children you can try one of two things....you can wait one minute, then again tell them they have to go to time out. If they continue to refuse, then this is the times to change approaches and go for the 4th tool of discipline, which is withdrawal of privileges.

12:21

[Comment From Jason]
What's the difference between logical and natural consequences?

12:22

Admin - If you have asked a question that has not been answered yet, please be patient. We will get to as many questions as we can. Thank you.

12:24

[Comment From JSpra]
If I am unable to stay for the whole chat, will it be posted afterward to read?

12:24

Admin - To JSpra:
Yes. A transcript of the chat will be available. Thank you.

12:26

Rizvi - Natural consequences occur in the natural course of events without any control by the authority figure. If the child throws their chicken nuggets at the table...the food is gone...if they are rough with their toy...it breaks and they can't play with it any longer.
Logical consequences are situations created by the authority figure that are logically connected to the bad behavior. For example, if your child doesn't eat their vegetables, they will not get dessert. Or if a teen stays out past curfew one night, they are not allowed to go out with their friends another night.

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